Sometimes the worst advice we receive can come from within our own families.I had a stepfather who thought his limited experiences and expectations would determine what was to be expected by us children.
While hard working - he never seemed to grasp the concept of growing beyond one's circumstances.
Anything aspirational was considered to be "Putting on Airs".
If we failed at something, he immediately told us that we were scrubs and that we would never be good in anything.
Since he was only my stepfather, I learned at an early age to ignore his ignorance.
I learned that, with enough practice, one could become proficient in most things.
I learned that there was no one way of acting Black and that Blacks were not confined to any limited definition.
Why do I bring all this up?
Because today I had to chastise a self righteous grandparent for telling her grandchildren that, "They will never be shit".
Sure, the kids were effing up. But their actions could be corrected.
The thing the grandmother failed to realize was that, while she was quick to berate, she offered no guidance on how to fix the problem.
Since she failed to solve the problem, she was part of the problem.
But this mentality is not endemic to one's family. Most self proclaimed "educated" people are quick to point out problems - but very few offer workable solutions to those same problems. Their biggest concern? Not being seen as a member of the group which they condemn.
But in reality, how can they offer practical solutions for problems they don't understand? Sure, most have the data - they just don't know how to interpret it. Without proper interpretation, what good are their views and answers?
4 comments:
They form self-righteous support groups where they say at least I'm not like them. When confronted about well how do we get to your philosophy they throw out some statement like as soon as they change their mentality. Then you know you are dealing with someone who is saying I am not going to teach anyone.
Its the dog shit mentality. They complain about dog shit all day but refuse to train the dog. So as a result they tell everyone the dog shits!
It's a circle of intelligent ignorance!
"Intellectual Ignorance" - I like that.
There's no other way to describe it. Very smart people saying some very dumb shit!
its more than ignorance, its self centered laziness.
Instructing or teaching a kid isn't that hard. Being helpful isnt that hard. But Monday morning quarterbacking is easier and requires less reponsability.
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