Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Back When 'Cool' Was Affordable

Back in the day;
Levi's 501 - $10
Lacoste polo shirt - $30
Nike Cortez - $40
Guess jacket with leather patches - $160 (and it better last long enough to go out of style at that price)
Ray Ban Wayfarer - $45
Swatch Watch - $20
Sony Walkman - $50

Kids today;
Levi's 501 - $50
Lacoste polo shirt - $70
Limited edition Jordans - $300+
North Face coat - $300+
Ray Ban Wayfarer - $100+
Who wears watches anymore? Smart Phone - $500+
Beats headphones - $150+

(These kid's Christmas lists are ridiculous.)

Donald Trump Hates Salma Hayek?

Well, maybe not Salma but probably Steve Jobs, Carlos Slim and the Maloof family.
While browsing the list of prominent Arab-Americans I noticed that many were of Lebanese descent.

Did everyone just up and leave the country back in '69?

Tuesday, November 17, 2015


Maybe I'm behind the times and I need to evolve?
But I agree with Channing Tatum's character in '21 Jump Street' - I blame 'Glee'.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Kia is Truth

I have an ex whose son still looks to me for guidance.
When I first met the kid he was kinda' soft and spoiled.
But I don't play with children.

The kid's mom was proud of her son and she felt that his little award shrine was just as good as any other child's.
"Man, these aren't real trophies these are participation trophies and medals. You didn't earn these.", I said to the kid (hurting his feelings).

The thing is, after this conversation the kid joined me in the gym. We'd go for nighttime runs or play tennis or basketball.
I'd check his homework and have him revise any mistakes.
He'd watch the news, ESPN the History Channel and whatever else I was watching and he'd comment or ask questions.
When he doubted himself or didn't know how to do something, I'd just say, 'That's alright, we'll just have to work on it and practice. You'll get it.".
When he was getting picked on at school I bought a heavy punching bag and gloves and we'd workout. (He ended up going to the kid's house and beating his bully in a straight up fight.)
And on and on...
After a few years the kid made the honor roll, played football (Receiving his first bone crushing blow leaving him in tears. 'You're alright. You're not dead or injured. Now you won't be afraid to hit or be hit.' I said as his mom waited to baby him.)
The kid made the AAU basketball team and he's starting on his high school team.
'Your job isn't to make my life easier, your job is to make me better.', he repeats back to me when things get hard. (And the thing is, the kid believes this. He believes in this.)

The kid now has a shelf full of EARNED awards, of which he is very proud.
The kid did the work and made the sacrifices and he doesn't feel in the least entitled.
As far as this new generation of kids who are worried about getting their feelings hurt? Effum. As long as I'm around a kid he will not be concerned with trivial offences - he'll be too busy trying to do and be better.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Priced Out of Employment

I say that we SHOULD raise the minimum wage to $15 hr .
My lowest paid employees already make as much - even those receiving tips.

No more Shequillas, Pablos or Laqueenameishas rolling their eyes and talking on their phones when all I want is a number two.
All these protests are a joke.
At $15 an hour, automation and a smaller more competent workforce would price most of these undereducated and underskilled workers unnecessary.
At $15hr, maybe I could get a smile and professionalism and good service.
At $15hr, most of those who are currently protesting will be on unemployment.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Monday, November 9, 2015

Black Lives Matter < Cop's Lives Matter < All Lives Matter

Two non-white cops charged with killing a white autistic child in Louisiana.
'Maybe if the father would have just done what the officers ordered him to do...'

So, all you BLM bleaters; do the lives of the Blacks cops matter?
And all of you Randians; did the father create the problem that cost the life of his son?

Black Lives (Don't) Matter

Until they do.

The apoplectic responses to perceived (and real) racially stained slights seem all to common these days.
'Justice or else'? Or else what? Or else you'll continue to whine and complain that no one in real power sees you as their equal?
'Black lives matter'? Do they really? What have you given up to prove this? Besides effete prose (Ta-Nussy Coates) and blog posts - what work have you actually done within the communities you claim to value?
'Million Man March'? Ninja-pa-lease! That was as effective as listening to the many gospel concerts and affirmational motivational speaches y'all pay your 'pastors' millions to watch in an effort to live vicariously through his pimped-out 'church' services.

The reason you have to repeat to yourselves that 'Black Lives Matter' is because they don't.
All the lies that your mama told you about you all being 'kings', 'bosses', 'divas', 'queens' and in some way 'special' were that - just lies told to you so that you could feel better about yourself (without having to do the work or make the sacrifices required to actually BE special - in any measurable way).

Black Lives Don't Matter.
Until they do.

The James Blake incident was the best thing that could have happened for your cause. Mr Blake is seen as 'Black' and not as 'just another ninja' '. Mr Blake is in a position to matter. Mr Blake's temperament and poise allows him to speak to power in a way that power is compelled to listen.

And now Black Mizzou football players matter.
These kids bring something to the table.
These guys have formed a group with a collective power that has the ability to facilitate change without violence.
These young men decided to start a fight from a position of power wherein they can make demands instead of your sissy-assed African-American Studies-inspired begging.
These young men control a product that has value.
These young men formed alliances across racial lines which will allow their message to go beyond that of their chosen discipline.
These young men are MAKING their lives matter.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Ever Nigga' Has THAT Nigga'.

Almost every fortune is built upon a criminal (or immoral) act.
And every street ninja has that legit ninja who can handle things when ish gets out of hand.

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Not Everyone Is Willing to Do the Work.

While talking to 'church people' about the nightclub business, the question of my morality and character came up.

I listened as they told me of their pastor's teachings as most of them noted, '...he teaches the word...'.
'Have you read the entire Bible?', I asked. (None of them had.) 'Then how would you know?', I continued.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

I KNOW I'm Wrong

During the club's Empire Watch Party we eat dinner and sip Champaign.
But I can never eat.
It's not that I don't like the food - I'm the one who orders it.
It's just that I cannot eat if I see unattractive fat people.
Back home I had a beauty queen friend who would scold me whenever I would react this way. 'Stop that John. She has to go her whole life getting that reaction from people. YOU know better.', she would say.
Being in the South and surrounded by unattractive bigguns....
Well, I'm told that I'm Wrong.

How We Do

When a white dude (Jeff) wearing a wifebeater and cowboy hat, and confederate flag and racist slogan tattoos, and from Jasper (A town (in)famous for the dragging death of a Black man)  accidentally stops into my club and declares that he must be lost - I get a little worried. No, not for our safety, but for his.

Since being down South, I've been plenty of places where the owners and patrons acted as though I was unwanted. I did not want my patrons to make this redneck hillbilly feel the same way. We are better than that.
The thing is; many of my patrons are into motorcycles, they know Country music, many have served in the military, and most are into Zydeco and trailrides. Most of my patrons (even the dope boys and ballers) are country boys at heart. Most of my patrons could find common ground with the man.

It was our Karaoke night (With an hour break so that the customers could watch 'Empire'.) and Jeff wanted to sing 'Fat Bottomed Girls' but he didn't know the artist. ''Queen'. That song comes before 'Bicycle' on the album.', I said as I walked by to tend to other customers.
Our Karaoke host assured Jeff that she had some Queen in her books and goaded him until he gave us his drunken rendition inspired by all the callipygian shapes on the women which surrounded him.

The dude was terrible, but he put on a good show. Drinks and rounds were bought and no one was made to feel unsafe or unwanted. Jeff drank so much that he passed out.
When it was time to close, Jeff was too drunk to drive and miles from home.
'We got this John.', a few of his newfound drinking buddies said.
It was at this time that two Houston rappers and their crew took Jeff to a hotel, parked his car and made sure that all of his belongings were on his person.

Jeff woke up this morning hungover and amazed that no one took advantage of him and that he was unharmed. My inbox message from Jeff''s sister/girlfriend/wife (?) thanking us for our service was unexpected (but expected).

At my club, everyone is VIP. Even those who do not expect it.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

White People Won't Let Us?

I don't usually like Black blogs - all they seem to do is whine and complain about how somebody white is keeping them down.
Their lists of their types of victimhood and the Liberal and African-American Studies-influenced catchphrases seem endless while their actionable intelligence seems limited. (To the point where they have no ability to create and/or sustain any real change - the only real 'power' they possess is the ability to boycott, protest or write about problems. i.e. Ta-Nussy Coates)
Their apoplectic ranting resembles that of little children throwing temper tantrums after hearing the news that their candy was taken away from them by persons they have no strength nor ability to resist.

Thanks Jimmy Kimmel, now I know who I am dealing with the next time I have to sit through another meeting with powerless Black politicians who always seem to blame their failings on whites who 'won't let(?) us have nothin'. (Or the next time someone in a position of authority is attempting to regain his street-cred after losing everything after he sold out and bought into and was used and tossed away by the powers that be.)

Dia de los Muertos

(My Day of the Dead hat and mask.)

Or Happy Halloween, or Solemn All Saints' Day.
Down here on the bayou the mix between the three turns into a triduum of eating, drinking, going to church and white washing graves.