Monday, February 28, 2011

Qou Imus?

Random tiddy, or random udder...?
Apparently not enough to prevent the store from selling out of their breast milk ice cream.

Non-Compete Clause

Some club owners try to get clever.
Some seek to eliminate any competition.
As part of my service contract I offer the option of a Non-Compete Clause which forbids me from working at a similar nightclub or venue.
The clause usually stipulates that I cannot work for a rival 'Black-owned' club for a set amount of time.
But since I cannot do that at which I'm good - this costs extra money.
The owners pay me not to work.

The funny thing is that a group of local Asian club owners from California seeks to expand their demographic.
The guys are used to Black people but many Blacks in the South are not used to being around large numbers of Asians.
They are well funded (rumoured to be Triad) and they treat me to bottle service and a couple of booths whenever I wish to attend their clubs.
I've yet to work at bringing Blacks to an Asian club before - this might be interesting...
Local DJ's, club owners, liquor reps, and patrons all suggested that this group hire me.
They say that I have broad cross-cultural appeal and that I could make their spot the spot.
Damn... getting paid by club owners who felt the need to stipulate "Black-owned" while making money doing the job anyway...?

"The Ant Bully"

 That's what a doorman called me.
Because I'm amused when people who think that they are important get offended by the simplest of slights.

Sometimes I'll put two cherries on one drink while placing only one on the others belonging to a group of women.
To most people this is no big deal.
Sometimes I'll put a cosmo in a more decorated glass while giving the rest of the women in the party the standard glassware.
To most people this is no big deal.

But maybe club women are different.
Maybe women who frequent night clubs have a need to feel special.
I really don't know, but it's funny to watch a group of women getting upset that one member of their group might be getting something perceived as being only slightly better.

Thursday, February 24, 2011


I loved the 80's.
I loved the fashion; e.g. smith slouch socks, williwear, Swatch watches, Genera, Zodiac shoes, (The stuff I could afford) and the Armani, Hugo Boss and unconstructed suits worn on Miami Vice (Which I could not yet afford.).
I loved the music; Hip-Hop was still fairly new and New Wave artists were producing videos for the newly created MTV.
I loved the Art; Basquiat, Haring, Scharf,...
I loved the resurgence of Black America; Spike Lee movies, The Cosby Show, Hip-Hop, the relevance of HBCU's,...
For me, these were the times which most influenced my outlook on life.

Of all things 80's - Miami Vice was probably the television show which provided my biggest archetype.
No not Tubbs, but Crockett.
Sonny didn't have to wear a tailored suit to project power - to this day, I still wear cool, unconstructed, designer clothing.
Sonny always got the girl.
Sonny often broke the rules if it was the best of many bad options.
It didn't matter that Sonny was white - to me, he projected the same image of some Hip Hop stars today.
(Isn't Jay Z more similar to Crockett than he is to Tubbs?)

I never really thought about the shows influence on my life until I attended a party at a local social club recently.
The club consists of Black men who all have letters before or after their names when being introduced.
"You a bad motherf...!" one said as we sat at the bar.
As I was being clowned by a group of titled men, a thin, tall, pretty, etc. woman mentioned that I still had a girlfriend and that I'd better not do what these other men were there to do.

Among these men, I'm like the Merovingian (An outsider who seems to know what others do not  or one who knows what others do not want known about themselves.)
The thing about running clubs on all social strata and across all races is that one hears everything.
People get tipsy and they begin to get comfortable with and trust those around them.
There is no need to listen to gossip - most people will tell their business on their own.
From with whom one may have slept, robbed, cheated or killed to where one goes to church - people always talk.
But unlike the Merovingian - I can never repeat what I know.
I can only act in a way or mention in passing something that may result in a desirable outcome without being messy.
It's as though I have to pretend to be a criminal in order to deal with criminals.
It's as though I have to live the life of a well-connected, well-dressed, undercover vice cop.
And sometimes - the ish gets old.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

No One Left To Conquer

 The recent unrest in the Middle East and North Africa should have been expected.
When a population outgrows the limits of it's traditional institutions - new institutions must take over.
But these countries may be better off than us.
Most don't have the technology to destroy themselves on the same scale as America processes.
Judging by our avarice - maybe our American society has reached it's peak in it's value to mankind.

 Like other countries, cultures, and societies before us - maybe we are doomed to repeat the cycles of the past.
Without a change in values, morality (not necessarily those of Christian churches), and consciousness - maybe we have just come to the end of our part in the evolutionary cycle.
Maybe Revelations (and Charlton Heston) was telling the truth.


"Do you know how many women would have been here?", "Do you know how much money you would have gotten?", "We could have had a huge party!", "This is your special day!", were the most heard comments after people at clubs and bars found out that it was my birthday. My 'special day'?
But I am special everyday.
I already get too much attention - and I'm embarrassed by it.

But the tackiest tradition here is the one of pinning money on a person for his birthday.
This just seems like begging to me.
"It's my birthday - please give me some money.", this seems to say.
I hate this practice but it seems so common that they even make t-shirts.
I never heard of this or saw this back in the suburbs of Cali - is this tradition practiced everywhere?
Do you beg for money on your birthday?

Best/Worst Birthday Weekend

A new record!
34 plates of food and a few cakes!
This was my haul this past weekend.

How did I spend my birthday?
12:00 - 4:00 Closed a nightclub
4:30 - 6:30 Checked on elderly blind lady
7:00 - 12:00 Checked on another elderly blind lady
12:30 - 1:30 Took a nap
2:00 - 6:00 Was a pallbearer at a neighbor's funeral
9:00 - 12:00 Worked as a bartender at another club
12:00 - 4:00 Had a few drinks with people who found out that it was my birthday
5:00 - 2:00 Babysat an elderly lady
2:00 - 7:00 Received a total of 34 plates/platters of food from people I helped out during the year.
7:00 - 10:30(the next morning) Slept

Damn... I'm still tired.

Black History Month

At least tell the truth.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Remember The Sabbath Day...

And keep it Holy.
Why do we need rest?
Why should we leave our troubles as they are when we should be working on solving problems?

The Bible says that the sabbath was made for man and not man for the sabbath.
Is rest so important that it should be listed as the forth commandment given from God?
It seems that God saw that a day of rest was good and ordered us to take one.
If God needed to rest, don't we?

Have you ever surfed the Internet for extended periods of time and had problems with your computer?
Have malware, viruses and overuse caused your computer to decrease in performance?
Isn't good to get rid of unnecessary music, photos, links and programs from time to time?
This is was sleep does.

Sleep allows our conscious mind to communicate with our subconscious mind (in a perfect language) and to sort through all harmful data.
Sleep allows us to make repairs and to update our mental hardware and/or software.

ADHD Cure?

 A belt can be used for many things...
Among them, a possible cure for ADHD.

Back In The Day...

 Kids used to want to be like their parents.
These days, it seems as though too many parents wish to be like their children.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Conspiracy Theory #2

 As vaccinations have been discounted by many as being the cause of rising Autism rates - maybe the answer is something simple.
 Maybe it could be something working on an even smaller scale.
Maybe the exposure to BPA's is the cause. (Especially in baby formula and bottles.)
Maybe it is the rise in C-Sections.

In all honesty, I don't know.
But as we strive to make our lives more and more convenient - maybe we are robbing our bodies of some stage of natural development.

Don't Get Me Wrong...

 I'm a Western Standard of Beauty type of guy.
From Long and Lean (not to be confused with 'Bone Thin') to
Thick and Juicy (not to be confused with "Fat and Sloppy") - my preferences have been shaped my my environment and experiences.
But I understand that others may have different preferences, different likes and dislikes, different fetishes.

Friday, February 18, 2011

What I Do

Anyone who has seen the Kitchen Nightmares series has some idea of what I do for nightclubs.
I am a terrible employee - but a good boss.
Every sport played, every school attended or every job worked - I always seemed to be on the verge of expulsion. (But the odd thing is that I've gotten awards from every job worked, school attended or sport played.)
It's not that I sucked at any of these things - only that I did that which I thought was best.
(Sometimes with a less than desirable outcome.)
I hated being yelled at.
I hated when I knew more or was better than whomever was above me.
I would talk back if a boss, teacher or coach was mistreating one of my 'team members' (anyone with whom I was close to).

Odd - what others view as a liability can often be turned into a money making asset.

Adults Are Children

Everyone wants to be a V.I.P..
Even as adults, we seek status.
But in nightclubs this phenomenon is even more exaggerated.
At most nightclubs, the patrons are actively seeking status.

I hate to manipulate people.
Ideally, I'd like for someone to tell me something and then let me decide how or whether I'd like to act.
But many nightclub patrons are just followers.
In the nightclub business - A crowd draws a crowd.
People want to be where everyone else is, they want to dress in the same style as everyone else, they want to act just-so in an effort to fit in.
The trick to having a full house is to attract an attractive crowd early in the night.

I play favorites.
I'm polite to everyone, maybe even nice, but I don't like everyone.
This past Valentines Day, a club had a promotion with drink specials, free food, and roses and boxes of candy given to every female patron.
But I only ordered a limited amount of flowers and candy.
I gave these items to every woman who came early but saved some for those who came late that I liked best.

But the club owner's girlfriend showed up late and noticed this.
"You only gave flowers and candy to the pretty girls.", she said.
"Or if they are nice - but I saved them for the ones I like the most.", I replied.
She didn't think this was fair.
"Look, I gave every woman who came early flowers and candy. Those who came late were subject to my preferences. If the less attractive or unfriendly girls wanted to be treated as equals they should have come early.", I said.

But the owner's girlfriend's friends were not satisfied with this explanation.
They imagined themselves as being V.I.P.s and thought that any preferences should be reserved for them alone.
But friends don't keep a business in business.
The hundred or so people anyone knows will not spend as much as the hundreds of thousands of people a businessman doesn't know.
Those who don't know an owner don't expect a hook-up.
Those who don't know an owner act as though they are guests of a business (not as though they are part-owners).

"Let him do what he does.", the owner said to his girlfriend.
The woman got upset and threatened to leave.
"No, I'll finish up and I'll leave.", I said.
"Shut the Eff up and let him do what I'm paying him to do", the owner said.
"The only reason you have any status is because of this club. The only reason my club is doing well is because he brought in his people and connections.", the owner continued.
"If he leaves now, we don't have a club.", he ended.

Being that I have already completed my initial contract, I'm now in bonus time.
Every extra week I work costs more than the one before.
It would be easier for these people to learn what I know and to do the same.
It would be easier if they understood that they (as friends of the owner) are not V.I.P.s - that only paying guests earn such status.
All this mess over a box of $1 chocolates from WalMart.
Damn, some adults remain children forever.

Cheap Energy

Every growing economy has always been dependent upon cheap energy.
Whether it's low maintenance slaves or a caste system, outsourced employees, or inexpensive oil - cheap energy is a necessary evil of all growing economies.

If you take a look at the above image you'll notice that Saudi oil companiess are shifting their production from Light Sweet Crude (LSC) to Heavy Crude in an effort to maintain their previous export levels.
"Oil is oil", some might quip.
But this is not the case.
Light Sweet Crude is more expensive to purchase but cheaper to refine because it contains fewer contaminants and yields more petrol.
The money saved during the refining process more than makes up for any added cost of the initial product.
As supplies of LSC dries up, we will be forced to shift to heavier and more contaminated sources of oil.
Even if we maintain the net quantity of oil being imported - the quality of the heavier oil will be inferior and the petrol yeaild will be lower.
In the end, regardless of the amount of oil being imported, gasoline will be more expensive.
(Image jacked from SeeNew)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Average of Beauty

 Whether in Australia,
 Or Africa -
Judging by the Miss Universe Pagent, our view of beauty seems to have been shaped by those who do not look like the original peoples of any continent.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Conspiracy Theory #1

If seeds and farming processes can become 'Intelectual Property" - could genetically altered bees be patented as well?
I'm not big on conspiracy theories but I just don't trust anything that is Too Big to Fail.
What has been killing droves of bees in recent years?
Pesticides, weather, a combination virus and fungus?

Maybe the bees themselves have become flawed.
If many bees are rejecting genectially altered crops - maybe chemical companies have sought to build a more compatible bee.
Without bees, we have few crops.
Without crops, we have no food.
Without food, we have a never ending war.

Now What?

 What will they do now?
Do they have any direction, any leadership, any ideas on improving their lots in life?
 Sure, Egypt is as giddy as were many in the US after the inauguration of Barack Obama - but does anyone know how to run the country?
 The Million Man March brought many people together with ideas on how to make things better - but does anyone in Egypt have the power to make lasting changes?
What Now?
What Next?

Nothing New Under the Sun

 Wigga' Please...
Don't act as though a political leader finding a Black woman to be attractive is anything new.
Even though the above image portrays Zipporah as being a little lacking in melanin - Moses had a sista' for a wife.
If much of the West's political philosophy can be traced back to Moses' establishment of a civilization governed by laws - why is anyone surprised that a Western politician would seek to emulate one of his antecedents?
 Mark Antony would probably be thought of as being 'white' today - but was Cleopatra Black?
Well, we have to go back a few centuries....
Back around 721 BCE - Piye had to take control of Egypt from outsiders who where perverting the traditions of the country and empire.
Piye was Black.

While Cleopatra was a decedent of the incestuous Macedonian Ptolemaic dynasty - she probably had a little Black in her past.
By the time of Cleopatra, Black Africans probably added to the genetic mix of the Egyptian elites.
 (Maybe Doris Day would have been a better choice to play Cleopatra than was Elizabeth Taylor.)
 Even the iconic American, Thomas Jefferson, got his swirl on.
 And for a generation hearing the lyrics of Mick Jagger - I bet getting some Brown Sugar seemed awful appealing.
 People often seek status and in doing so most seek that which the establishment deems to be desirable.
Most people desire that which they think they are supposed to desire.
But here's the rub - when one feels as though he is high enough in the prevailing social order, he then decides to seek that which he really desires.
Even if that is Yesha Callahan.

The Average of Beauty

 While shorter than the women I tend to prefer - Melyssa is pretty close to my ideal as far as looks go.
But even she shares phenotypical traits which place her closer to the average than to that which most would think of when one thinks of 'distinctly Black' features.
Which is why someone like Angelina seems to do so well across many races and cultures.