Thursday, March 25, 2010

Worst Smell Ever

I was reading a post over at Mill's spot (UndercoverBlackMan) and I had to laugh.
I'm currently going through the worst years of an adolescent boy's grooming stage.
The years when they imagine that a half bottle of cheap cologne can cover a days worth of funk from various sports practice sessions.

But some scents are even worse than the smell of a half bottle of Axe, Diesel, or Usher mingled with sweat.
Some scents start off smelling rancid.
I'm not talking about the Aramis gift sets or Grey Flannel,
I'm talking about the scents that were truly unique in their putridity.
5 - Brut

4 - Canoe
3 - Old Spice

2 - Aqua Velva
1 - Those bottles shaped like cars, dogs or even women which one bought from Avon.
Well... okay.
The smell of funk after Spring seven-on-seven drills,
mixed with a half bottle of Axe,
mixed with the stench of the sweat after baseball practice is far worse than even these.
But I gotta' tell ya - it'll be nice when these boys learn that cologne is supposed to be used after a shower - not in place of one.

6 comments:

CNu said...

why you dogging out the classics like that magne?!?!?!?!?

Brut stinky?
Old Spice stinky?
Avon jawnts stinky?!?!?!?

sheeeeiiiiiittt.....,

you musta lost your natural mind!

lol...,

FreeMan said...

A lot of the examples are your entry level scents. Call it marketing genius but unless someone actually puts them onto some kind of cologne most people pick some crap in high school and stick to it.

Ish I still wear Aqua Di Gio because it was big ish when I was in High School. Most guys don't spend that much time on it unless some fine woman says they like the smell of whatever the hell.

The car thing is a NO NO! I've never seen that in my life but if someone gave it to me I know I wouldn't wear it. That's a re-gift for my nephew. So sorry if he smells like that he probably got it from me re-gifting it to him.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ FreeMan - I get a lot of cologne but I only wear Armani Lui, el, He (I don't even know the name but I like the smell.)
Yeah, my young cousins get the bootie-juice from me too.
Damn... come to think of it - maybe our generation is to blame for giving all these kids the funk we don't want.

@ SeeNew - Man, I got a few more stinkers (received as gifts) I'd be glad to ship your way.

doll said...

My kids tell me that walking down the grade 7 corridor is suicidal with the gassing off from the current top selling deodorant.

My eldest recently began shaving, it was hard for me to refrain from buying a quality aftershave and leave that to him. Had to give him the health professionals spiel instead and point him in the correct direction.


Walking past a man wearing a quality cologne is just sensational and oh so rare.

CNu said...

Maaan...., I don't fool with none of it nowadays except for a little of the Hove' Limes des Buras or a dab of Beijan or Kouros on formal occasions.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ doll - Soon enough your boys won't have to tell you - you'll be able to smell it for yourself.