Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Don't Buy This

Every year, a group of big girls decides to lose weight the easy way.
Since I've given up on trying to help these women, many have decided to buy the Ab Circle Pro.
The gadget looks like fun but it is not engineered to accommodate those it is seeking to assist.
(It is a good concept - only poorly made.)

I've had four women tell me that they now have back problems after using this machine.
Two have told me that the knee pads hurt their legs and that the handle bars are flimsy.
(This coming from women hovering around 200 pounds.)
But these women failed to understand that the machine was made for a 5'2" 109lb woman - not a 5'9" 213 lb woman.
That the equipment is meant to be used in a controlled motion.
That if someone already has weak abs - throwing 100lbs of ass in a circular motion is not a good idea.
That their big asses will act in the same manner as a pendulum.

After past years of training these women, cooking healthy meals for these women (Which they never ate - instead eating some good old fashioned Soul Food.), and even stretching and messaging these women - this group is on their own.

13 comments:

KonWomyn said...

Wsup UBJ
LOL! That is an ugly contraption and it looks like its made for someone who knows about exercise *and* a small size like you said. Anyone 200lbs woman buying that is falling for the marketing hype and nuthin' mo'. If she wants that type of exercise: get down on all fours and shine the floor.

FreeMan said...

LMBAO man you are hilarious! Fat is a fuc*king problem to you that you cannot escape. LMBAO

That machine is selling a idea of beauty that somehow Biggums will get on there and be sexy rocking their torso.

I think you need another blog called I hate fat people.blogspot.com. This ish is hilarious.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ FreeMan - Nah man...
I tried to help these women lose weight - I think they're just addicted to their their lifestyle.

KST said...

I've seen these ads for a while, and the reviews online that skewered this machine. As someone who was a size 8 before the baby (okay she's four now, I'm working on it - eff off!!!)I get why women would want to buy it. You have to admit the commercial makes it look fun!

Hiking - hiking is good.

brohammas said...

Dude, that last paragraph make syou either a saint, or suspect.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ brohammas - Nah man...
I was trying to do whatever it took to get them motivated.
They would alway complain that their legs were sore, their shoulder hurt, ... .

CNu said...

brohammas is truth.

I ain't mad at you Gok Wan, ain't no shame in loving them BBW's...,

rotflmbao.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ SeeNew - Naw man... Never been fat but that dude does seem to have a cool career going.

I just have a few second cousins who always complained that they wanted to lose weight but never did anything about it.
These women and their friends would come to my crib and workout in my gym.
When I noticed that they were still eating more calories than they would burn - I attempted to change their diets.
When they would get workout related injuries - I'd tape them, rub them or stretch them.

I was attempting to teach them how to be fit and not just how to lose weight.

CNu said...

Naw magne, it wasn't the gay, and frankly, if you watched his show, I think you'd share my suspicion that this dude is putting on a gay-acting front in order to indulge some pretty hardcore chubby chasing.

Dood almost always features these large-chested, chubby and with diminished self-esteem women, who fairly early on in the program allow him to be all up in their space to the point of fondling their large chestesses and carrying on like a don't know what. Seriously, dood has em down to they draws quick, fast, and in a hurry (all under the pretense of helping them improve what they're working with)

That show is some straight up comedy gold just for what gok gets away with. Anyway, like your man brohammas say, methinkst your level of attention to the mounds of round is.....,

Mr. Noface said...

You can only do so much for people, right?

uglyblackjohn said...

@ SeeNew - Interesting take - but I think I hate fat people.
I hate the hood so I try to get people out of it or try to make it better.
Same goes for the Bigguns.
I try to help them be healthier big girls or else I try to help them lose weight.

@ No Face - Yeah, and across many spectrums of life.

KonWomyn said...

ROFL! Nah Gok is gaaaay, he used to be a real fattie in his teens then went on some crash diet and 'discovered' his sexuality and women's fashion. The women strip for him bec he's Gok Wan and it's part of the deal in coming on the show, he only has to coax them a little, but they've already dealt with some of their body issues.

CNu said...

Gok is gaaaay

lol,

aight, if you say so.

but me and the Mrs. watch this show somewhat faithfully and she just swears he's a predatory chubby-chaser flying under gay camoflage and straight perpetrating - and - gettin paid to do it. (and to be quite honest, I think he's partial to them tig-ole bitties myself)