Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I'll Never Understand...

(Among other things) Women.
I'm a peaceful guy.
I'm also polite, jovial, generous, sedulous, and whatever...
But a recent event at one of the clubs took me back to my youthful days.
Some big mother-effin' dude tried to call me out.
When I politely replied, the dude tried to step foreword.
As I waved him in, "Just don't approach me in an aggressive or threatening manner. Anything I do after that will just be "self defence" and you can't sue me.", I said calmly.
"You're a big dude. Big guys usually walk straight in and try to land a knockout blow while leading with their right.", I said as I raised my left to deflect any attempted blow.
"I'll bob and duck, you'll miss and I'll hit you in your gut with a solid blow that will leave you pissing in your pants and crying like a little girl.", I concluded.
The guy walked away mad - but he walked away.
(Later, he called his crew to meet him in the parking lot to jump me after the club closed but that didn't work out for him either.)

But a strange thing happened...
The women who watched or heard about the exchange suddenly became even more attracted to me.
"Dayum..., John turned Black in a second!", one would say.
I don't know...
Maybe the sight of two men fighting arouses women.
Maybe I began to sweat and to emit odors which match those found during mating.
Maybe these women were fearful and seeing a guy able to protect himself offered a sense of security.
But the last thing I want is a woman who needs to start trouble so that she can see me fight just so that she can become aroused.

Women...
I may get my fair share - but I'll never understand them.

3 comments:

CNu said...

uh.., UncleJohn - did you leave something out of the narrative concerning why big man thought about stepping to you?

Anonymous said...

yeah, what'd you do?

uglyblackjohn said...

He was trying to stunt for some girlies who were paying too much attention to me - no biggie, happens all the time.