Tuesday, January 11, 2011

How To Fight

 Apparently I'm not the only person who feels that many of today's children are overly coddled, overly sheltered and overconfident - but many of these are under prepared for real world problems.
Some say that teaching a kid to fight is harmful, that spanking a child is detrimental to his ego, that putting limits on children will stunt their emotional growth, blah-blah-blah... .
But how is this the case?
Kids who never learn to fight back will always be the victim.
Kids who are never punished will never understand that their actions have consequences.
Kids who always get their way will never learn to work with or listen to others.

Being able to fight often prevents fights - bullies often choose the weakest as their victims.
Knowing how to fight prevents one from walking around in an eternal state of fear.
Being able to beat someone down often prevents one from having to prove that he can beat someone down.
Think of it as detente.

8 comments:

Liam said...

as usual, full of valid points. parents tend to look to books and "experts" for help because they are so afraid of making mistakes while raising a child and then all this psycho babble comes into play, doing the right thing is hard enough with out all the extras. though not without flaws humanity has made progress for thousands of years with out all of this extra crap.

DF said...

Preparation for the sake pf preparation is a lost art. I remember shooting freethrows from sun up to sun down in preparation for the fact that people might think I can't make them and foul me when I was playing Slam & Jam. We slapped box and later boxed with gloves to perfect or hand speed and learn if we can take older kids punches without crying when I was 7 years old. I helped my friends brother fix his car everyday until somehow I learned the basics about most cars just by being around them.

Isn't it funny how one bully who pushed someone's father back in 1970 has changed the way education is taught?

Anonymous said...

I've never started, or lost a fistfight.

I've also never had one where I wasn't hurt after.

I still have no feeling in part of my thumb from cracking a bottle on some ogre's head 15 years ago.

In martial arts, they teach you how to disarm an attacker with a knife. They also say you can expect to get cut pretty badly doing this.

To bring it to larger themes you touch on here, everyone is always looking for a good solution to every problem. But sometimes in life, the best solution is the one that's least-bad.

This is an important lesson.

-DD

CNu said...

which is why DD now conceal carries - but I digress.

it's unfortunate that things have devolved to the point where teaching children how to fight stand-up or fair has been rendered functionally useless.

teaching one's own kids how to preemptively kill or maim is an unfortunate side effect of the dark ages into which we're rapidly returning...,

Anonymous said...

I can never tell if we're pals or not Cnu, but you're still on my must read list, much respect.

-DD

CNu said...

We're pals so far as I know DD - Happy New Year to you and yours. (me and mine still periodically eating that curried chicken salad - the recipe for which you were kind enough to share some months ago)

KonWomyn said...

You co-sign on Amy Chua's tiger mothering???

uglyblackjohn said...

@ Liam - But it is these 'flaws' which we seem to remember.
I thought my step-dad was too tough on us boys but I now use many of the same methods with my young cousins.
I don't do drugs so they never have the have to deal with the rage of an addict but I'm just as strict and expect just as mush.
I teach more than I tell and their mothers can't understand why the kids still like to be around me.
Mistakes are just a part of life.

@ FreeMan - Yeah, it seems that sissies are now running the world - but they don't have to run your family.

@ DD - "...sometimes...., the best solution is the one that's least-bad."
Yep.

@ SeeNew - "Have a gun - need a gun" someone once said.
If I gotta' shoot - maybe I shouldn't be there.
I've been shot at and had guns pointed at me on many occations.
"I don't have time right now.", I say as I calmly walk away.
I someone is gonna' shoot and they have the drop on you you'll be dead before you have a chance to get your gun.

But no... a good beatdown still works - just don't talk shit about it when it's over.
Most people can still take a loss - they just don't like the shit talk later.

@ KayDub - Hell no. That lady is crazy.
But I Do think too many parents are too soft on their kids and too many try to be good friends instaed of good parents.