Monday, November 10, 2008

Texas - The (Almost) Antebellum South


Texas sucks. Why do I stay? Because Texas sucks. I was arrogant enough to think that I could make a difference.

The Alamo Remember the Alamo? Why? You lost that battle. What are you celebrating?

Confederate Flags Why? You lost the civil War too.

Oklahoma Panhandle Why does Oklahoma have a panhandle? Because if the border of Texas went further north (under the Missouri Compromise) they would have had to free their slaves.

Juneteenth Why are you celebrating? The rest of the country had freed their slaves three years earlier. We celebrate being freed late?

Jasper, Texas is synonymous with dragging deaths, Crawford with W. and Houston with Enron. (Okay, Texas Tech does look pretty impressive this year. I'll give you all that one.) Friday night lights? The best thing to do in the state is (until this year) watch a high school game?

5 comments:

SjP said...

O.K John, tell us how you really feel about Texas! LOL

Anonymous said...

I have a brother in Houston and he thinks the people there are ass backwards. He told me they are lazy and complacent. My boy got up and moved to Atlanta because Houston was so backwards. So Texas is a waste....

Unknown said...

The Dallas Cowboys?...just grasping at straws with you

Citizen Ojo said...

Wow!! Maybe you should take a vacation.... out of state.

C T L said...

Come on. Texas has SOME redeeming traits. Me for instance.