An old Chinese axiom states; "Wealth does not pass three generations.".
Why is this?
Sure, some could argue that the first generation only had to provide for three... maybe four people.
That the limited fortune was enough for one family to do well - but not enough for eight families.
But the real problems are ones expectations.
The first generation does all the hard work to acquire their fortune.
The second generation may see the benefit of hard work (without the fiscal need to do so themselves).
The third generation will become accustomed to having things given to them.
This is where we currently find many of those within our society.
Even many minorities have benefited from the Civil Rights progress made by their grandparents. (First generation)
Most of their parents enjoyed freedoms that couldn't even be imagined by their parents. (Second generation)
And today - even many "poor" children enjoy a lifestyle that would have put the middle-class of past generations to shame. (Third generation)
Walk into ones nearest teen aged relatives bedroom - what do you see?
More clothes than their parents would have had in five years.
Usually a computer, television, some sort of music system, gaming system and personal phone are also present.
These children need all these gizmo's to take up the time gained by a more lax lifestyle.
How many children; do the laundry, mow the lawn, clean the house, babysit siblings, walk to school or the homes of friends, read a book (even if it's for their homework), sew or learn to build?
There is no need to develop these skills - it's just easier to pay someone else to do it.
Ojo asked whether his generation would march on Washington, stage sit-ins, or be able to lead.
I didn't think they would.
Most have never been in a real fight in their lives.
Most are more accustomed to throwing a temper-tantrum over something (and ultimately getting what they want) than they are actually solving the problem.
Most have been coddled to the point of them fighting imaginary windmills.
Their complaints are usually over things that have little or no impact on their daily lives.
C'mon, are; Tiger Woods, Reggie Bush, or a white drill team winning a step competition on the same level as; being hanged, being denied schooling or being denied the right to vote?
But it's not really their fault at all.
Their grandparent's struggles are just old "Black History" to them.
The various media have taken the place of sitting on the front porch and listening to family stories.
Instant pizza and Mac Donald's have taken the place of conversations over dinner.
With parents working longer hours to maintain this lifestyle - friends have become a child's primary source of influence.
Many see themselves as consumers - not creators.
Can this tide be turned?
Sure.
How do we make it past the third generation?
By learning to value what is really important (work, skills and knowledge) and not focusing on what is not (pop culture, the facade of status and a life of ease).
But who wants to do or teach this to another generation?
Isn't it just easier to let them learn it on their own?
Don't parents have their own lives?
Isn't the "I" just as important as the "We"?
4 comments:
Wealth, values, work ethic, CAN be passed from generation to generation if the parents are actually there setting an example AND teaching the kids.
I have a friend who started a business and hit it big. One day he was going in to check on things and his daughter asked where he was going. He said "work". She looked confused and said, "Daddy doesnt work."
He realized how closely they were watching him so he up and applied to grad school. He now goes to Wharton just so his girls can see him work hard at something... Wharton just to show an example! His kids will be just fine.
To me what has happened is leisure has replaced work. Common folk have replaced skilled jobs with leisure activities. So instead of teaching your kids to get a solid job you encourage the arts, singing and surfing. Schools have replaced repetition and arithmitic with all kinds of arts.
In business in order for wealth to survivie you turn it into real business with presidents and a corporate structure.
In a family wealth survives by pretty much forcing a second generation to take the business seriously. Maybe it'll skip a generation and then another family member will pick it up.
For Black folks as long as the Civil Rights is considered Heaven and celebrated as such we'll move no further. There just needs to be a new goal and it has to be as aggressive as the Civil Rights kids pushing the ideas of their parents to the dirt to bring about anew. Until that comes about we will be stuck in our past success.
@ brohammas - Yeah... One of my cousins was asked where I worked and he didn't know how to respond.
"He doesn't have a job", he said.
When the lady seemed perplexed, "He just helps people", he said.
They see me doing work - but they don't associate having means with being lazy.
@ FreeMan - Yeah - but we are living in a third generation society.
What we do next will determine whether we end up broke or continue to make progress.
It's up to the individual - but the outcome effects us all.
Ahh,
you are making me feel all warm. That I am being a good mom and not a mean tightfisted witch.
No tv's in bedrooms, no music centres but we can lay that at the foot of the ipod. Certain chores that must be done. Got boys so not too many clothes, certainly no more jeans than my brother had. Best of all I've just got the eldest a job and told him that he has to work before he can go to college. Keep meaning to instruct them in the use of the washing machine but it is the only chore that I really enjoy so I would rather do that and have them do one I dislike.
Their dad is a first generation hard worker and money maker so that makes them second generation. It will be interesting to see how things pan out for them.
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