Tuesday, November 30, 2010

TSA "Fluff Girls"

 Stop feeling anxiety over whether some racial stereotypes are true on not by taking advantage of the new...
...TSA Fluff Girls.
Why prove racial stereotype true when you can use one of the secrets used in the porn industry?
Why worry about 'cold weather' when you can walk proudly through those Total Recall-type scanners with pride?
This is a win-win for the economy - no fear of flying (keeping the travel sector happy) and more jobs for second tier porn actors (Aren't strip clubs usually located near airports anyway?).

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Do Machines Have 'Memory'?

Most people have probably experienced an image burned into a monitor or TV screen.
Does this constitute 'memory' by the machine?
Is a Tron-like condition possible?

I AM THAT I AM ('Ehyeh asher ehyeh')

 "I AM" - The moment that God became aware of himself?
Aum, Amen, Amin?
Are they all pointing towards the 'Big Bang'?


 My old high school sucked in football.
But that never mattered as long as we beat the team from the 'rich school' across town.
But recently my old high school has become the standard for success.
That is until this year.
This year my old school has only won two games - but one of those wins was against our crosstown rival so the season was not a total bust.
 And even though Utah sucks more than normal this year - but at least they beat BYU in the Mormon Bowl.
If I were to be paying attention to college football this year (or maybe next) I would still care that USC lost to those potato eaters from Notre Dame.
But the thing is - I'm too distracted by having hot women on the sidelines...
Instead of watching some dudes jumping and screaming with some stubby and ugly girls.
The only thing worse than being a USC Trojan fan this year is being a fan of choke-prone Alabama.

Ugly Cookies

 I think they were supposed to look like this...
Or maybe this.
Every year I get a lot of plates of food made for me by grateful people.
But this year there seemed to be a new theme.
The theme of having the kids make a batch of cookies.
I'm sure they did their best - but of the dozens of cookies I received, maybe ten were edible.
Of course I choked each 'delicious' morsel down with the help of a cold glass of milk while the kids looked on - but it was rough.
(The cookies were often burned or had too much sugar or too many sprinkles and I'm lactose intolerant. Those cookies were a pain both coming and going.)
Man... the things one does to keep thankful kids happy.


People think that I hate fat people - I don't think that I do but being in the South for so long, I'm just sick of them.
Back in Cali a friend once commented that we only had two friends who possessed excessive girth.
But it wasn't as though we chose our fiends by their weight - it was only that many of those with excessive weight did not fit into our lifestyle.
In fact, I didn't even notice most fat people.
Here in this small town... almost everybody is fat.

I think someone can be in the same place for too long.
Cops experience this after many years of doing the same thing with many of the same people committing many of the same crimes.
Social workers experience this when they've dealt with too many needy people for too long while being able to do too little.
After a while only negative reactions are produced whenever anyone resembling a similar demographic is encountered.

I'm sick of the ghetto as well.
After deciding to turn the vacant land left after crackheads burned down a few houses into a community farm - those from the area stole the materials intended to build a greenhouse.
Others (or maybe it was the same people) stole fruit trees panted early to enable the trees to take root and last through the Winter.
When I asked around it was said to me that people stole these things because I wouldn't miss them, that I could afford to replace them, that these people thought of themselves as Robin Hood.
If this is the thinking of many of those in the hood, I'm through with the hood.
In fact, I don't even care (right now) if I can make a lot of money dealing with those in the hood.

But what causes one to think that he can find the proverbial "Holy Grail"?
What causes one to think that he can find the answer to an eternal problem?
Is a man who attempts to find a hidden treasure or an answer to an unanswerable problem just being arrogant?
And is such arrogance necessary to even undertake such a task?

But this type of arrogance sometimes leads one to be in situations where he is overwhelmed.
This type of thinking more often leads one to be in situations where he is in just a little bit over his head.
This mindset seems to be required for one who is capable of playing from behind.
But Indiana Jones went home sometimes.
Indy understood that, from time to time, he needed to get away from those situations which offered both the most satisfaction and the most disappointment.

Monday, November 22, 2010

60 Dimensions ?

 If we are only able to measure five percent of our universe - what of the remaining 95%?
Maybe our 5% is all that we are currently able to comprehend (or 'see').
While the universe may in fact be infinite - our 5% may be all that we need to see in order to comprehend the universe as a whole.
Maybe our current three dimensions act in the same way as a two-dimensional holographic image contains all the information needed to project a three-dimensional image.
 But how can only 5% be infinite?
Imagine an infinite number of fish.
Now count the scales on these fish.
Which is a greater number?
Are there more fish or more scales?
Since each is still infinite - are they not still the same number?
 Even when we measure the known universe there seems to be areas of greater mass or density.
Maybe these can be explained as areas where our known (or perceived) part of the universe overlaps another unknown part of the universe.
 If our three dimensions only enables us to see 5% of the universe - would 20x3 give us the whole universe?
If we are just the mean of all dimensions of the universe - maybe there are as many (or more than) sixty dimensions.
Maybe these inconsistencies in our universe are the points where more (or less) dimensions overlap.
If the spiral is the model used for our known Universe - is there another fractal which we cannot see that is the model for another dimension of the universe?

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Relevant Rap ?

 As long as Rap was considered to be an outside source, rap had the power to motivate change.
But those who run the music industry know this, which is why once a performer sells his soul for points he becomes part of the establishment.
He cedes his power to those who would rule him one way or another.
As long as Punk and Rap were seen by the industry as worthless pretenders - there was no need for music execs to worry about these upstarts.

But then Punk groups like The Clash started to attack the establishment (Which sought to quell such an uprising by bringing them into their fold by making them bona fide Rock Stars).
But The Clash were still outsiders who recorded songs critical of Margret Thatcher, American policies and the treatment of Blacks in Brixton (Or Watts).
These groups recorded songs that criticized the treatment of Nelson Mandela and others in the Apartheid system in South Africa (Simple Minds' Mandela Day, The Specials' Free Nelson Mandela or a bunch of songs by U2.)
 But Pop groups never had such a luxury.
When the Human League recorded a song critical of the Israeli occupation of the West Bank - their musical career was cut short.
 Even media darling Boy George and the Culture Club suffered from recording The War Song.
 But outsider artists could still get away with protesting against South Africa - the establishment did not own them.
Even M.I.A. had a hit which could have been set in Brixton, or Watts or Newark (To bring the thinking of The Clash full circle.)
Which is why the only relevant Rap is outsider Rap.
Check out Kay Dub
No commercial Weezy there - just the occasional mention of relevant Hip Hop from the perspective of an empowered outsider.


Imagine yourself as being represented by the highlighted triangle above.
What is considered base, or lowly, by you may be seen as highly desired by someone else.
The inverse is also true; what you value could be that which is dismissed by many others.
"One man's trash...", the Biblical "The stone which the builders rejected..." or stories of the Prodigal Son - our culture is filled with tales of an an eternal Rochambeau-like hierarchy.

It's a Popularity Contest

 Not a talent show.
So Brandy was a better dancer than Bristol Palin....
But Mario was better than Emmit, Mel B was better than Helio and Mya should have beaten Marie Osmond.
But like all fan-based voting shows - this is a popularity contest not a talent show.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Obsolete Luxury - Memorex

 Back in the day - listening to one of these this was a top of the line personal music experience.
But now the Walkman has gone the way of... well. the cassette.
Even though most people would not be seated in a Bauhaus chair while their butler put in a Wagner cassette - the image worked to sell Maxell (not TDK or Memorex)  tapes to millions.
But the best marketing came from the guys at Alpine.
Apparently the guys bought one Lamborghini and placed an Alpine cassette stereo in it so they could say that this Lambo did in fact have an Alpine stereo.
But Lambo's did not come with an Alpine until the poster became even more popular than that of Farrah Fawsett adorned in her ubiquitous red swim suit.


Most days are not perfect - most days are just... days.
But what of he who seeks danger and excitement?
What of he who walks away from the rest of the pack and strikes out on his own to discover his own personal treasures?
Life, sports, business, hobbies, whatever... .
What drives some to walk away from a life of comfort to find that which is his true motivation?
Why do some accept what is given while others are so arrogant that they imagine that they can control their own destinies?

Most days are just days.
But what causes some to look for the good where others find flaws?
What causes some to look beyond the curtain?
What causes some to choose the red pill?
What causes some to dump down the rabbit hole?
Why do some challenge themselves, their surroundings or their culture in an effort to live more fully?

Is there some type of Indiana Jones gene?
Are some hardwired to go where others fear or do what others say cannot be done?
Someone once said that Alice saved herself because she came back from the rabbit hole - while all the truly crazy characters remained there.


 No not 'Shiva', the (often purple-ish blue) Hindu god of destruction or transformation...
 Nor the Black 'Sheeva' from Mortal Kombat...
 Not even the (reputed) Illuminati connected H.O.V.A, ...
Newsweek decided to portray Barack Obama as a new type of god.
Unlike Shiva, he is not of a purple-ish blue hue - but his lips are often purple.
While not female - he is Black.
While often reputed to be linked to some secret society or another - he is not Jay-Z.
Let's just call him Heva (a combination of all of the above) - the Tea Party's (and Mad Ave's) god of destruction or transformation.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Back In The Day

People hate to hire me to build houses - I'm too expensive.
I use real wood trim and mouldings not Melamine.
I use 2x6 lumber for exterior walls not 2x4's.
I insert fire blocks every four feet in height instead of leaving weak, unsupported studs.
I add boards to hang cabinets, toilet paper holders or curtains to every wall.
I use plywood not MDF or OSB.

But this is all because of my upbringing.
We were accustomed to seeing buildings which also functioned as Fallout Shelters.
The average age of public school buildings in America is 42 years.
But these buildings were built using rebar reinforced and concrete filled cinder blocks with a brick facade - not steel studs, foam and stucco.
Many older schools were built to withstand an expected nuclear attack.
Today, most schools could not withstand tornadoes, hurricanes or earthquakes.

It's Okay Not To Like Tyler Perry (Or Oprah)

I'm not mad.
I'm not begging.
I'm not a victim.
So far, Tyler Perry has nothing to say to me.
His characters are not those upon whom I'd like to model my behavior.
His topics are not those I'd like to revisit.
His sense of humor is more silly than it is clever.

Not liking Tyler Perry movies makes me a 'hater'?
What if I don't like Woody Allen movies?
I'm I hating on him as well?
(Or do I just not like Woody Allen movies?)

Simple Arithmetic

 Back in the day, figuring out how much one owned and to whom was easy to figure out.
 But the the mandate became "Growth".
With most people who could afford a home living in a home - what was the next step?
Balloon payments seemed like a good idea for those seeking the American Dream.
But what happens when the note come due?
To avoid huge losses for their super rich investors - Wall Street tapped students inclined towards math and science to come up with a new formula.
After 'derivatives' became the easiest way to make money (on paper) - the super rich were granted a reprieve.
But then everyone realized that everyone had paid too much for what they'd owned.
Panic ensued and the super rich enticed Washington to come to their rescue.

Tell the truth - you knew how much your house was really worth.
You were just looking for a sucker bigger than yourself to sell it to.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

What You Don't Know...

I just finished a one-day remodel on an old beauty salon from which the owner gave me six padded Eames shell chairs from the fifties.
Sure, I had to spend $18.00 ($3.00 each set) for those little plastic things on the bottom of the legs.
Resale price on e-bay?

Other People's Money

Most people are suckers.
Most people only wish to have all the material goods to show off to friends instead of generating any type of real wealth.
As I wrote earlier, sometimes I run nightclubs.
But the thing is, I hate running nightclubs.
Most people only call after what they were doing has failed.
But as in construction - rebuilding is more expensive than building.

As is often the case, I've been approached by a group of guys who love to floss their platinum and diamond watches and jewelery.
"I'll get you one of these.", one guy said as he looked at my old Gruen, Hamilton or Patek Phillipe watches.
(I didn't buy them, they were my grandfather's from back in the forties and fifties. MY cost; $0.00 - resale value, more than $0.00. THEIR cost; thousands - resale value, less than thousands. Why pay for something that loses value?)

My standard agreement is payment from the increase in sales.
But if the group is dumb enough to agree to such terms I just decline the offer.
An increase in sales is not the same as an increase in profits.
Anyone not knowing this is too dumb to succeed.
After someone points out that they do understand this, we then negotiate a percentage of the increase in profits which I will receive.

While I'm working on my humility - I must be good at what I do.
Most people who open new clubs offer to give me a percentage of their business (usually 30%) if I reach my sales and profit goals.
I then sell this percentage back to them (If I choose) or sell this percentage to another investor.
People are suckers.
Most are so anxious to be thought of as being cool that they will allow you to make money with their money.

The Untended Garden

As I listen to parents complain that their children are scrubs - I have to remind them that it is largely their own fault.

Every kid is a genius until about the fifth grade.
Most parents can assist their kids with their homework at the elementary school level - it is only after the child's classes become too difficult for a parent to understand that a child becomes 'stupid'.
Even if a parent once knew the material, without use, most information is forgotten.
The teachers at my cousin's school were shocked that I asked to buy the same text books from the classes my cousins were taking.
When I explained that I needed them to review the material so I could better tutor my cousins with their homework the principal loaned me the teacher's versions at no cost.

ed says, "Birds don't teach their chicks to fly by chirping at them.".
This is true.
Most parents fail to take the time to teach their children anything.
Most just tell their children instead.
Most set rules but few follow through with consequences.
Most reward their children for their own shortcomings as parents.
But this is not love - this is just lazy.

Most bad kids come from bad parents.
Most bad parents don't tend to their children.
If one fails to tend to his garden and it fails to produce fruit but instead becomes overgrown with weeds - who is at fault?
Is it not the fault of the parent for failing to tend to the true needs of his child?
"My son (or daughter) ain't shit!", is a common complaint from many parents.
But if the seeds to being a scrub were all that were planted and nurtured by the parent - how can they be mad that the children turned out to be anything else?

Know Your Place ?

 The hardest thing about doing business in many parts of the South is the old school thinking of many of it's residents.
(Besides Amanda) How many women would approve of the above image?
In this day and age - not many.
But I meet countless Blacks who still hold onto the beliefs of their parents and grandparents.
Many people still believe that their value is determined by the rules set by others who have no real power over them.
Many of these still choose to remain on the plantation even after emancipation.
Many have become so inculcated with a culture of inferiority that they cannot even imagine what freedom looks like or how it feels.
May are so accustomed to prison that they cannot acclimate to a world without limitations.

This past week I had a group of employees at a club revolt against my teachings.
These people were so upset with me that many were on the verge of tears.
One guy decided to 'man-up' and confront me because I had apologized to some disappointed patrons because his skills as a DJ were lacking.
His (hostess) girlfriend then told me that I needed to 'Know (my) place.".

Most people who work these clubs have other jobs.
Some are secretaries for judge so-and-so or assistant managers at some store or laborers for some company.
But each has some sort of title.
"You don't even really work here.", the girl said angrily.
Which is true - I just advise owners and train staffs.
My livelihood does not depend on nightly tips.
But these people were mad because I had taken it upon myself to ensure that every patron had a good time and was properly served.
I make sure that every patron gets his money's worth.

But these employees don't see things the same way.
If it isn't in their job description, they don't do it.
Most will not clear a table because doing so would be beneath them.
Most will not clean up a spill because that is also thought to be beneath them.
Most defer responsibility up through a chain of command instead of taking the responsibility themselves.

But the thing is, I did know my place.
The club owner heard the grumblings and left early to avoid confrontation. (A weak leader.)
As I listened to the employee complaints, "Know (my) place.", was all that I seemed to remember.
This is the same thinking that keeps people from taking full advantage of opportunities.
This is the same thinking that causes people to settle for less even though more is readily made available.
This is the same thinking which keeps one safe but also keeps one subjugated.
In the end, the DJ was shifted to working the door and the hostess was dismissed.
(I guess they now also know my place.)

But this incident brought to mind the parable of the Unjust Steward.
The guy could not dig yet he was too proud to beg.
Many people from underprivileged areas are so caught up in their tenuous positions or titles that they will not do the work which needs to be done.
Others are so accustomed to being ruled that they cannot function when given responsibility.

Another blogger once mentioned that while living in the hood his mother always taught him that they did not belong there.
Apparently, he did know his place but he knew that it was not where he was at that time.
It seems that many in the South do 'know their place' and these are those who live with the consequences of poorly performing schools, crime infested neighborhoods, crooked political representation and poor familial structures.
Sometimes it's good to know your place,
as long as that place is not determined by someone else.


 While most guys have no problem with seeing women dressed in football-type uniforms - most (unknowingly) have no problem with seeing men dressed as women either.
 How many guys have gone through the ritualistic high school hazing of dressing like cheerleaders?
 TMZ mogul Harvey Levin even dressed as Gloria Alred this past Halloween.
 And lets not forget (or maybe we should) seeing Wesley Snipes in To Wong Foo, or Robin Williams in Miss Doubtfire, or John Lithgow in The World According to Garp, Tom Hanks in Bosom Buddies, or countless other examples of men in drag.
But should a young boy be able to dress as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween?
Would I let one of my young cousins or nephews?
(Hell no.)
But a recent Jay Leno Show showed a clip of Terry Bradshaw in drag,
and I just flipped past an episode of M.A.S.H. in which Jamie Farr regularly appears in drag.
When is it 'acting gay' and when is it just having fun?