Saturday, July 23, 2016

Serena Williams - The White Nerd's Ultimate Fantasy?

J-Lo/Kim K/Beyonce - Pick one, they are almost interchangeable. But if these women are too 'ethnic' for you there is always...

Coco Austin.
If we are talking about one's phenotype all Coco is lacking is a bit of melanin and she could easily be interchanged with the women above.

But nerds don't like the thick athletic body type.
Or do they?
Nerds create comic books and draw their idealized versions of The Perfect Woman.





Even Wonder Woman is thicker with more ass than the television version portrayed by Linda Carter.

The other nerd fantasy realm is that of video games.


From an Aesir deity to an Asian Kung Fu warrior to an otherworldly assassin - the sylphid phenotype doesn't seem to be the ultimate nerd fantasy.

Who nerds really fantasize about when they are able to create their Perfect Woman seems to be..


Serena Williams.
(Even if they won't admit it.)

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Is The Machine Too Big?

Was the lack of an endorsement by Senator Ted Cruz a message to Trump and his constituents from those who really run the Republican party?
Is Ted just a lap dog who is setting himself up for a future presidential run?

Whom Do You Fear?

 While you watch the nightly news while sitting comfortably on your couch in your air conditioned house and drinking the latest IPA on these long summer days - are you worried that some random gang member will randomly target your house to break in to rob you, beat your kids and rape your wife?

Most of the time you're not in a situation where thugs involved in gang violence have anything to do with you.
If your family and friends are of a similar socio-economic ststus, they probably have nothing to worry about either.
Your neighborhood is probably safe.
Your job is probably in a secure environment.
And most of your daily activities are probably conducted in areas where street thugs are not any real threat to you.

I know, I know - someone told you that street thugs were dangerous because they have nothing to lose.

But what of those who have everything to lose?

Do you  ever worry about those who actually have the power, influence and resources to take away your hard-earned comforts and luxuries?

Back in the day, I knew a lot of really bad people.
Some were gangsta's while many others had respectable careers.
Being present at a business meeting I warned one attendee to watch his back.
The guy immediately began to look at the street contingency.
 'No, not them. They are cray-cray because they have nothing to lose. THEM. The are evil because they have everything to lose and they will do anything to keep it.', I said.


Wednesday, July 20, 2016

The Ugliest

 Back in the day, Arsenio Hall had a stand-up bit about the Boston Celtics being the ugliest team in the NBA.
I'm not really an Arsenio fan but that routine was funny.
I cannot recall the whole bit but the team members were compared to animals and Frankenstein among a whole bunch of other things that would cause one to be banned from social media sites today.
While maybe a bit mean - the routine was so funny that Charles Barkley would bring the issue up almost thirty years later.
Now there's Leslie Jones.
Apparently it's okay to make a career out of making fun of everyone else but it's not okay when people make fun of her?
This re-boot of Ghostbusters is so bad that no one is even talking about the movie but instead the media focuses on the internet trolling of one of it's cast members?

Honestly, Ms Jones is NOT a pretty woman - some may even say 'ugly'.
But that's okay - not everyone is Beyonce or Rihanna.

I'm not a fan of most female comedians so if one is not funny she should at least be appealing.
I see enough overweight and unattractive women in my day to day life - I don't need to pay (Well.. I get free movie tickets but you know what I'm saying.) to see that on the big screen with Melissa McCarthy or Leslie Jones. The roles of these two could have easily been filled by Sarah Silverman (One of my JAP crushes), Amy Schumer (The biggest I'd go), Mindy Kaling (stereotypical Indian scientist casting), Aisha Tyler (If they needed a six-footer who is Black), Chelsea Peretti (I'm crushing on her as well) or an unknown like Marina Franklin.

Is calling Ms Jones 'ugly' being racist?
No, it may be mean but it's definitely not racist to prefer good looking women.



Monday, July 18, 2016

Killing In The Name Of...

Before my hometown was part of cop-killer Chris Dorner's rampage, another officer ambush was carried out on the streets in my old neighborhood.

Back in the day we lived in the hood.
It wasn't so much ghetto as it was working class.
Most of the families were two-parent. Most of the fathers had served in the military. And most people were purchasing their homes.

My preschool was less than a block from my house. The program was started and supported by members of the Black Panthers. (As a four year old, I was afraid of 'black panthers'. I had seen The Jungle Book and knew that the black panther Bagheera was not one to be messed with. And I heard the adults say that our neighborhood was filled with 'Black Panthers'.) The local headquarters for the group were a block in the other direction. My neighborhood - while somewhat integrated - was filled with militant former military men.

I lived in a peaceful neighborhood.
That was until one night when the police burst into homes looking for suspects.
Two officers had been ambushed down the street from my preschool.
The official story states that the ambush was carried out in response to the shooting of a fleeing suspect a few nights earlier.
To the police, every Black male of a certain age looked like the suspect.

As kids, we were sheltered from 'grown folk's business' but we knew something was wrong. That something was now different.
Before this incident we were taught to run whenever we saw the police - afterwards, we knew why.
The ambush was so serious that Black Panther founder Bobby Seale came to my neighborhood.

I was too young to be a suspect or to be harassed by the police. Back then, kids were not allowed to join gangs, sell drugs or do anything else that hindered their ability to just be kids.
All I knew was that it was time for us to move.
The racial environment had shifted to the point that my parents didn't want us to be exposed to the negative impact of an angry and bitter population.
We moved from the hood to the hills.

Years later I became friends with the daughter of one of the officers killed.
I knew how her father died but I never brought it up.
Years later I would become close friends to many officers, detectives, investigators and chiefs.
Years later I would benefit from the corruption and favoritism of these men in blue. (It was so bad that I could place orders for things I wanted and then have the officers confiscate items on my list from suspects and then deliver them to me. I didn't pay for the items, the cops were just showing off. I thought it was funny.)

I guess I enjoyed a level of 'privelege' some say is reserved for only a certain demographic.
I guess I've been away from the hood for so long that I no longer understand much of the Black angst.
I guess I've grown so comfortable in my connections that I can have lunch or drinks to solve a problem instead of protesting or killing.
I guess my time to be a bitter and resentful victim has passed and the best thing for me to do in this current struggle is to just sit back and watch.


Causality?

If Ruby Ridge,
And the raid in Waco
Led to the subsequent bombing in Oklahoma City by former military member Timothy McVeigh.
What caused the lone-citizen revolts in Dallas and Baton Rouge?

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Is She a Man?

 This was asked of the most dominant female athlete of all time. (Babe Didrikson)
 The same question was asked about tennis player Martina Navratilova.
And now underperforming shrubs are asking the same thing about Serena Williams.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

I'm Not a Cop

In the last couple of weeks I've had several incidents involving gun play.

The first one was at breakfast after the club. It involved a cheating dope-boy and his crazy wife.
By the time the husband (who had been drinking at my club) showed up at the Waffle House the wife had her pistol drawn and began to shoot. The parking lot emptied as I directed each person to go home in different cars before the po-po showed up.
As a waitress ran inside to call the cops while telling me to run - 'Oh, they won't shoot me.', I replied.
The couple left about thirty seconds before the police arrived.
By the time the officers came into the restaurant to question the employees I had begun to eat.
 'No, sir. They'll be fine. I sent them home.', I said to the policeman.
He asked if I knew them and I told him that I just see them around and didn't want to see anyone going to jail that night.

The next night a family celebrating a wedding got into a heated argument after the club.
As I walked to the parking lot to see what was happening, 'John, come stand by me. Even you're not bulletproof.', a monster (A street king's enforcer) said to me.
As the fighting got closer and more guns were being pulled, 'Did you at least have fun tonight?', I asked the bride.
She stopped and thanked me as her family came over to thank me as well.
I told them to get home safely and to come back again.
They gathered their family and left.

The last incident I had to ask a guy to hand me his gun as he was about to shoot another.
'Hey man, don't do that here. Let me get that.', I said.
I took (Well, 'received') his gun and handed it to his cousin.
'Nah, you're good. Just don't do that here.', I said as he was being loaded into a car.
All he said was, 'I'm sorry Mr John - I respect your spot.'.
The po-po rolled up about a minute later.
'I heard you almost got shot eating breakfast.', the officer said to me as patrons were trying to hide whatever they had to hide.
'Yeah, well.... That's the club life.', I replied.
The officer made small talk, nodded towards guys trying to hide whatever they may have had, shook my hand, asked if I was alright then left.

Was I scared?
Ummm, no. Not till after the fact.
But I knew it was just easier to de-escalate a situation than it was to take over.
Sure, I usually have guns trained on my surroundings when ever I exit the club (and sometimes by not the most honorable of men) but a gun is not always necessary when faced with a gun.
Police officers have a whole belt full of tools - the lethal use of a gun should never be his first option.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Donald Trump is Wally George

Back in the day, my boy Pitts used to come to my house after school to watch KDOC 56.
My dad would leave for work at about 4:30 and he wouldn't get back until sometime the next morning.
My house was a crash pad for those who didn't want parental supervision.

We'd always watch MV3 (a locally produced UHF version of MTV) and later we'd catch episodes of Wally George.
Wally had this whole staged Conservative shtick which would bring his audience to a boil.
He would say the most ridiculous things,
 but the more ridiculous the more his crowd agreed with him.

Wally looked and sounded a lot like Trump.

Even down to their daughters.
(Rebecca DeMornay & Ivanca Trump)
If Wally were alive today, could he Out-Trump Trump?