Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Ummm.. this question is a little more difficult to answer. I don't want all of the women who are so fat that they sweat gravy to e-mail me. I don't want all of these hater chicks e-mailing me because they think that Halle Berry, Stacy Dash or Alicia Keyes are anorexic.
Q- Why do the Brotha's like a BIG BUTT !
A-I'm not entirely sure but maybe it goes back to a time when; only the wealthy could afford to eat so much that they would end up fat. In the South, thin women are called "poor". Maybe it has something to do with penis size. (One of my friends Say's that thin women; "don't have enough (butt) to keep your (testicles) off the sheets.) The question really should be; When did being callipygian become fashionable and why? In the 80's, Janet Jackson was rumoured to have had lypo-suction to remove excess girth. When J-Lo starred in Selena, men stood up (in more than one sense) and took notice. By the time of Beyonce'... ass was in. Don't get thick and fat mixed up. You can have a thick and juicy steak, with the fat in all of the right places. You can also have a big tub of chitterlings or a pile of slop ,and have a lot of them, but it's still just the stuff most people throw out. You can be big and sexy- Anna Nicole Smith, Sophia Lauren (size 14), Marylin Monroe was a size 12, America's Next Top Model contestant Tocara, Sheryl Lee Ralph , Queen Latifa and on and on. You cannot be fat and sexy- Mo'nique, Rosie, Star Jones etc. Some brotha's will date a fat white girl just because she's white- but that's a different issue.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Why do Black people?

I'm not sure of exactly what to say. During the current Presidential campaign race has become a defining issue- more than the substance of each candidate's policies. "Race is King" seems to have returned to the forefront of the American dialogue. Since I want to be topical, let's start there.
I'm Black, live in Beaumont, Texas,(used to live in Riverside, California) and I'm still becoming acclimated to how inculcated racism is - here in the South. Because "Ebonics" isn't my usual way of speaking, I don't live in "the hood"(though some would argue that all of Beaumont is "the hood", and I know a little about a lot, people often ask me; "Why do/are Black people...".
I'm not the spokesman for all Blacks but i don't think that my life experiences are anomalous either.
Having made this caveat, let me begin with the most common queries.
Q- Why are Black people so loud?
A- Because nobody listens to them.
People who are loud have no credibility. Do you rremember those E.F. Hutton commercials? If people care about what you have to say, they'll strain to hear a whisper in a loud and disruptive environment. Do you notice how children respond to parents who always yell? After a while they learn to block it all out and the parent loses credibility.
Q-Why don't Blacks learn as well as (pick an ethnic group here)?
A- I'm tired and I'll let you know tomorrow.