Friday, January 15, 2010

Felons and Daughters

I'm raising sons - you're raising daughters.
You're raising felons - me, future fathers.
For the life of me, I can't seem to grasp why so many mothers spoil their sons.
Why would any woman desire that another boy became an effete man who is more concerned with looking good (sic) than doing good?

I'm often told that I am too hard on young boys.
That I need to understand them.
That I expect too much from a generation which has grown up without any real leaders.
That I'm too old-school.

But this rigidity may be what's lacking for many.
One has to learn how to be responsible.
One has to learn that they are part of a larger world - and not the center of the Universe.
Every child imagines himself great - but only a few are able to achieve material greatness.
But every man can be great in his service to others, regardless of their financial status.

I didn't move to Beaumont, Texas to help anyone other than myself.
My plan was to probate my grandparents' will, cash out and then go back to Cali. for a life of wine, women and fun.
But something happened along the way - I had to sort through five versions of different wills and ended up being stuck in this town for longer than I expected.
If I was to be stuck here, I thought that I could at least help a few people before returning home.
I thought I could make the best of an undesirable situation.

At first I thought I could help my tenants and those from the surrounding community.
But I was overwhelmed by the prevailing culture of "Good Enough" or "Good for a Black Person".
The culture that expects little from those who have accepted for themselves society's definition of being the least.
My focus then turned to only my tenants, then only to certain tenants, and finally to families which were already trying to help themselves.

This is where I am today - mentoring (primarily) three families who were on the cusp of being middle-class.
From this middle-class starting point most families can better determine the course of their future actions.
From this point, most families can shift their values from that of survival to that of acquiring assets which will help their families in future generations.
From this point, many families can learn the value of helping others get what they need to enable them to also make better decisions in their lives.

In rethinking the question of whether 'God hates poor people', I came to the conclusion that this disaster is the most merciful type.
If the poorer regions of the world are effected by disasters - the richer nations can step in to offer assistance.
This wouldn't be the case if the rich countries were in need.
Who would assist them?
Most poor countries would just cheer as though the rich had gotten their just reward for stealing the wealth of the poor.
But then everyone would be poor.

All this to say what?
Today my young bad ass little cousins and their equally bad friends made sure to text their donations to the Red Cross or Yele funds.
Today, these bad ass little boys gathered food from my neighbors for Haitians to be sent through their churches to the disaster area.
Today these bad ass little boys understood the responsibility that goes along with having more than someone else.
Today these bad ass little boys didn't wait for me to tell them to do what's right - today these boys saw a need and responded accordingly.
Today these bad ass little boys took another step towards becoming men.


CNu said...

every worthwhile opportunity I've encountered along my way has come in the context of service to others.

FreeMan said...

Welp the best way I was of service to others was because I took care of myself. Somewhere around 15 years old I stopped needing my family to give me money and as a result it was a great service to them.

The greatest thing a Man can ever be is self sufficient. A man should strive to not be a negative to all he encounters but a positive. By you teaching your little cousins that not only can do for self but can help others they become a positive to all they know.

Can't knock women it's their nature to teach them to be babies. This is why grown men scream out their mothers name when in pain. There has to be a balance and Men usually provide that. It's good to see you are filling the void. Because it's not just any man who can teach this only a certain type of man.

CareyCarey said...

Uncle Black, I didn't know where you were going with this. First, I am a felon and I have a daughter.

I also didn'tknow what the picture had to do with the post. So I asked my lady what she thought of the picture. I first asked her if I could play that suit. She said yes. But she said the guy looked gay. So I was wondering your take on the picture and the suit, tie and shirt?

But overall, I think the proof is in the pudding. I believe it's not what a man says to a young boy, it what they do with them and/or how the man walks. Talking is easy, doing is king of the court.

On a side not, how a person looks/dresses is relevant to the task at hand.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ SeeNew - Me too.

@ FreeMan - These are the same bad ass boys who get jobs instead of money.
They're learning how to do for self - but I was impressed that they have moved on to the next step of doing for others (at least in this instance).

@ Carey - That's gay Dwight from Real Hoodrats of the ATL.
The suit? It's fly but something I could only wear once. (I'm more into subtle colors and textures.)
The photo was used to illustrate the commonality between his estilo and that of many boys today.

CareyCarey said...

Gay Dwight from the ATl... WTF!

I mean, who knows that mess? Well, excuse me Uncle Black, but, how did you know that?

But yeah, that suit, one time would be about it. Everybody can't play that suit.

uglyblackjohn said...

FreeMan got me watchin' "The Real Housewive of Atlanta" and this dude just stood out on the show.

I'm not sayin that spoiled boys will turn gay - but that spoiled boys will end up acting like little girls or become felons.
That boys who are taught how to be men will become good fathers.
(Well.. this is my hope.)

CareyCarey said...

Mr. Mad Money Freeman may make you a rich man, but don't follow that boy around every corner. You have to watch them guys from Compton. *lol*

FreeMan said...

Awww Man UBJ is dropping dime on me! LMBAO. I just happened to notice he knew a lot about the show but kept blaming it on female company.

@Carey - Compton kids can create problems, but the ones that make it out usually are Millionaires. Dr.Dre, Venus & Serena Williams, countless guys in the NFL and NBA and I'm just bringing up the rear with the DO FOR SELF angle.