Monday, December 21, 2009

The Worst Form Of Parenting

As I listen to parents lamenting the awful behavior of their children - often followed by their reasoning of, "But I buy them everything they want." - I often wonder, Is this good parenting?

Think about it.
The Federal Government provides; food, shelter, clothing, schooling, medical care and a host of other services for those in need. (And for many who are just lazy.)
But how many of these people feel any form of love for the government?
How many of these people actually have any sort of relationship with the government?
Most of these people resent that on which they are dependent.

Can the same be said of children whose parents equate good gifts with good parenting?
Can the same be said of parents who spend more time at work (to be able to afford these good gifts) while leaving their children home alone to learn the social norms from television, friends and music which used to be learned from ones attendant parents?
Do these children suffer from having anything but a dependent/provider relationship with those who are they which these children are supposed to form personal relationships?
Do these children and parents actually "Know" their friends and coworkers better than those within their own families?
Why are these parents surprised when an outsider has more influence over their children than do they?

I like nice gifts.
Children like nice gifts.
But these nice gifts should never take the place of building nice relationships with ones children - otherwise - you're just the provider while your child will remain dependent.


FreeMan said...

A lot of people just see the reward instead of what the person had to do to get it. So people are saying they are going to spoil their kids like they deserve it and like spoiling returns able bodied individuals.

The problem I run into with my nephew is they don't see why they have to work. I try to couch my arguments in being the next in a long line of Strong FreeMan men but when he goes home to my sister he doesn't have the same accountability.

To me it all started with that crap where someone told kids we are all winners. To hell we aren't! You might as well feel the feeling of losing so you will work to make sure it doesn't happen again. No one wants their kids to be losers so we trade that for them being losers as adults.

uglyblackjohn said...

I just had a cousin learn the lesson of "Skill over Strength" in a wrestling match.
He (as well as all the other football players from his school) thought that he would just walk all over the smaller white kids from the "Good School".
But the white kids were better coached and better prepared - and they won every match except for one by pins.

Needless to say, all the coddling in the world couldn't save the kid from a more skilled opponent.