Friday, February 12, 2010

Low Self Esteem

The above image was used as my avatar on another site.
I guess the name "uglyblackjohn" would cause some to think of an image such as this.
Am I mad?
Heck no, that ish is funny.
Really... how much melanin could I have if my father is Creole and my mother is half-Native American and half-Mexican?
I'm not really ugly either.
How many straight guys want to be called a "Pretty Boy".
If I were ugly in reality - I'd have a title that would reflect how good looking I am.
Something like, "HandsomeLightskinnedJohn".
Maybe even add "King" or "Divo" (Deus, Doi, Divus, Divie, Divot, whichever...) to mimic the women who use the titles "Queen" or "Diva" before their names even though most are neither.

The thing that gets me about people who cannot even joke about our people (even in the midst of our people) is that many of those same people see other Blacks (many of whom they don't even know) as illiterate Gang bangers.
Many imagine themselves as the 'Talented Tenth" whose goal in life is to shun the other 90%.
What's funny is that many of these really haven't moved vertically from the hood - what was accomplished was more of a lateral move.
Many of the self-proclaimed Black-Intelligentsia are still members of the servile classes.
Many only think from the perspective of being aspirational within the current economic framework instead of thinking as an owner of ones own model.

It's often said that "Blacks can't work with/for other Blacks".
But this is wrong.
What is really the issue is that, "Low self esteem Blacks can't work with other low self esteem Blacks".
This is the proverbial "Crabs in a bucket" phenomenon.
Many LSE Blacks hate to see anyone else having what they themselves cannot possess.
Blacks with true game are not as driven by the need to impress.
Blacks with true game know that sometimes it's best to make the extra pass to ensure that the team wins.

But don't get these people mad.
They may even protest because John Meyer won't be dickin' them down anytime soon.
Really?
John Meyer?
Women who complain that Reggie Bush is hittin' Kim Kardasian because she is not Black are mad that John Meyer chooses to have a David Duke dick?
What's the sense on that?

Some choose to find racism in anything that is not Cosby-esque in it's depiction of Blacks.
Is this recent Doritos commercial really racist - or is it just funny (and true)?
I've dated several women who have children.
I'm usually dating the woman in the hope of eventually getting a bit of Oodie-ooh!.
Usually their daughters develop a crush on me while their sons are eyeing me like the little boy in this commercial.
Even without a word being spoken, "Keep my hands off his momma, and keep my hands of his (fill in the blank)" is understood.
The only ones who even imagine this commercial as being racist are those who have not dated in a really long time (If ever).
With the recent divorce rates - situations such as this are more likely to arise than not.

Ronald stated that I don't know enough about my history to refer to someone as "Slavery Black" without feeling guilt.
But this is not the case.
I don't limit Black History to the one hundred years of American Slavery.
(America; est. 1776 - Emancipation Proclamation ratified; 1965)
When you say "Black" - I don't say "Slave".
When you say "Africa" - I still don't say "Slave".

Usually what has occurred is the conflation of two separate conversations.
One - Speaks from the perspective of the eternal subjugated victim.
The Other - Speaks from the perspective of the master of his own destiny.
One - Bitches about how badly he is being treated by his boss.
The Other - Works to establish himself as the boss of others.
One - Whines about all the past injustices put upon him by his several masters (all the while choosing to remain on the plantation).
The Other - Is in a constant fight for freedom for himself and all of those around him.


I don't get mad easily.
My feelings are not easily hurt.
I've been through enough ish to realize that most ish is just dumb ish.
My home (in a neighborhood that is probably better than your own) is fully paid off.
My rental houses are fully paid for so that I don't' even collect rent if I don't feel like it.
My cars and truck, farm and vacant lots are fully paid off.
My home already has enough antiques and Mid-Cent-Mod furnishings to satiate my desires.
My wardrobe is already filled with Robert Graham, Jhane Barnes, Armani, Valentino, Nat Nast, et al. so I have no need to impress people by wearing common brands like Polo.
I have enough so that my concerns have shifted from getting for myself to that of helping others.
I do the girls most guys only have in their imaginations when they are enjoying a bit of "alone time".
I'm not saying all this to be boastful - in fact, I acquired most of my goods by shear luck.
I'm not trying to fit into any one's select society.
I know enough to have a conversation without having the need to come off as a pedant.
Honestly - You can call me "Ugly", you can call me "Black", you can even call me a "Nigger".
But just don't bother to actually call me until you are ready to do more than talk about problems that don't really have any effect on your day-to-day life.
Don' t bother to actually call me until you are ready to actually do something.
If people like Ronald feel so inclined to allay their own low self esteem by shunning others - that's their game.
If people like FreeMan wish to share their talents with those who have yet to realize their own (even if it means going into neighborhoods where a Low Self Esteem Brotha' is afraid to go) - that is a different game.
As for me - I'm not one who suffers from low self esteem.

Your (Low Self Esteem) conversation; "There is a problem and Black people are it.".
My conversation; "There is a problem and Black people are the solution.".
Different perspective - different conversation.

12 comments:

Citizen Ojo said...

Feedback Strikes Again!!!

FreeMan said...

WOW! I had to read this one twice and think to myself what is UBJ getting at here. Don't sweat it man the guy is agitator. He makes me laugh to tell you the truth.

brohammas said...

wait, wait, wait...
Don't bag on Polo because you have a bunch of Italians in your closet.
Some like Americana preppishness for its classic and timeless staples. J. Crew, Polo, even Carhart....
What am I saying? I just can't get with the pastel patchwork pants and embroidered lobsters.

I'll shut up now... for about ten minutes.

KonWomyn said...

On the day I decide to peep at UBJ's site this is what it is. Cool.

About the avatar - lol, I don't think anything was meant by it, I actually liked the avatar; it's a striking picture and because it reminded me of one of the covers of Salt, a book by a Caribbean writer named Earl Lovelace...

But who feels it knows it, like Buju says. As for the rest of the post - it was on point. Maaad respect.

...one

uglyblackjohn said...

@ Ojo - I ain't mad.
Ronald has SIX blogs and he still has to go to other people's sites to be heard.
I'm more like E.F. Hutton - I'll whisper and if someone wants to listen so be it.
My self esteem is so high that I KNOW that I don't have all the answers.

@ FreeMan - Really this has more to do with your girl V.O.N..
There are (at least) two schools of thought;
One - Master
Two - Servant
The confusion begins when one tries to explain how the other works.

@ brohammas - It's not the brands that I was tryig to point out - but the lack of any visible logos.
The brands I listed could be WalMart brands for all that anyone else knows.
I still wear Polo - I just order my white shirts with a (non-visible) white Polo logo.
There is nothing wrong with any brand - there IS something wrong with having the NEED to show everyone else what brand you're wearing.

@ Kay Dub -
DV is a BYOB wild juke joint.
This is more of a corner pub.
Thanks for dropping by.

I'm not offended at the avatar - that ish is as funny as the one I use when I post.
DV always got jokes and that was a pretty good one.

brohammas said...

Wait... did she just say as "BUJU" says (Who feels it knows it)... is that sorta like that one time a "Friend" of mine heard Sting's Every Breath You Take" and asked "isn't that a Puffy song?

O well, I guess Every man thinks his burden is the heaviest.

KonWomyn said...

@ UBJ
Aight then, cool. Thought it might might've hit a nerve. True tho' DV's spot is on anutha level.

@ brohammas
Yea, Buju said it. Jimmy Cliff said it. Bob Marley said it. And I'm sure there are many other artists who have/will sing that line - no copyright. Unless I'm missing sumthin' I don't think that's quite the same as a "Puffy-Sting moment."

...peace

Anonymous said...

Are you talking about Von from
'Black Conscious Thought?' She easily has to be one of the worst informed bloggers I've read lately.

Anonymous said...

The only problem with laughing at yourself is that your enemies are laughing at you too. i guess that makes you your own worst enemy.

being proud about lowering yourself....we have finally hit rock bottom. congrats.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ Anon 8:43 - Pa-lease.
It's like a bunch of pre-school kids laughing at you because you are well spoken, have nice things, go nice places and have cool friends.
These kids will laugh because you don't get to eat animal cookies and take naps (unless you want to).
Some people are too simple to be taken seriosly.

My "enemies"?
Bwah-ha-ha-ha.
They have to matter to be MY enemies.

Truth B. Told said...

Are you talking about Von from
'Black Conscious Thought?' She easily has to be one of the worst informed bloggers I've read lately.


Not only is she ill-informed, she is highly intolerant of opposing viewpoints. How ironic with all of her grips of Black America she is the proponent of one of Black America's worst vices, not allowing others to have a dissenting voice. What is the point of asking questions if you are not prepared to deal with answers that differ from your own?

But it is hilarious to read and watch her brain struggle with the cognitive dissonance that she creates for herself, LOL.

Truth B. Told said...

"gripes" not "grips"