Saturday, February 27, 2010

I Feel Your Pain


Other than Everybody Hates Chris, few television shows present a positive role model for Black male fathers (or even Black male surrogate fathers).
But I'm not Julius - I have more of a Bernie Mac situation to deal with.
Initially, I thought I'd be able to blog about theoretical issues, about esoteric concepts, about art and science.
I'm still waiting to open the package that contains a $65 Gurdjieff book that I long to read.
I still have blank canvases on which to paint.
I still have a few women whom I'd like to "date".
But things change and we must adapt.
My interests shifted from trying to solve the problems of (once) complete strangers to trying to solve the problems of my cousins, their families and their friends.

Recently, I had an occasion to receive gifts and accolades from my friends, family and those whom I help.
One of my gifts was a box set of the old Little Rascal films.
(Yeah... I also received a few more pairs of Shox.)
I like the Rascals, I can identify with the Rascals.
Styme is my man.
The Rascals weren't bad kids - they were just being kids.
And at one time, I was a kid.
This realization helps me cope with some bad-ass little Niglets and their almost useless family members.

As a kid, anything could could be turned into some sort of game or activity.
During the rainy days of an El Nino season - our surrounding hillside neighborhood streets would flood with the runoff from the local hills.
This gave us a chance to try to ride our Boogie Boards down the asphalt streets.
Sure, it sounded fun at the time - but the water wasn't as deep as we'd anticipated and we ended up bruised and broken.
But still - we'd walk back up the hill for another fun ride.

El Nino was also good for generating large waves.
During our weekly beach trips we would always decide to play Chicken with the crashing waves which pounded against the jetty that separates Corona Del Mar from The Wedge.
Even after we almost lost a kid to the rocks below - this was a fun activity for youthful boys.

During the hot summer nights, we kids would buy a large block of ice and ride it down the driving range of our local golf course.
This was know as "Ice Blocking".
A towel placed on the ice block would act as a seat of this warm weather sled.
Yeah... it was a fun ride - but we never managed to learn a proper dismount.

Even though my cul-de-sac had two pools and we had our own in our backyard - we kids would often swim in the local irrigation canals that wound through the surrounding orange groves.
The water was clean and cool - but after an hour long drift, we'd have to walk the five or so miles back home.

The hillsides proved the perfect setting for kids playing Cowboys and Indians with B-B guns.
With refreshments stolen from their parents liquor cabinets many boys were impervious to pain.
I didn't drink so that game ended up hurting more than I'd liked.
We decided to dig a small cavern in one of the hillsides.
After a summer of digging, we had our own "Bat Cave".
As the city workers noted the danger of collapse - the cave was quickly imploded.

While reciting these youthful games to my young cousins, "You were baaad!" seemed a strange statement to come from their mouths..
I was just being a kid.
These childhood dalliances help me to catch my cousins when they try to get over on me.
My childhood mistakes are those I wish for my young cousins to avoid.

But sometimes these bad-ass little boys get on my nerves.
When I warned a couple of cousins that, "You'd better run" if they got caught by me doing something bad - one occasion lead most of them to take off running down the block when I caught them drinking liquor from my bar.
I had to laugh at the sight, but a couple of kids failed to take head to the warning.
"Be here when I get back", I said as I searched for a belt.
When I returned, only my most favored little niece remained.
When I asked why she didn't run, "You said 'Be here when I get back'. And besides, I didn't do anything wrong.".
I had to laugh at her, but she was right.
She had just been watching her older cousins getting drunk.
She was just doing what I had said to do.

It's odd, this blog has gone from my attempt to figure out theoretical problems to that of trying to figure out my personal problems.
This blog has turned into those Bernie Mac "Talking to America" asides.
Where I'd love to be able to "talk" to erudite adults about esoteric concepts (I need the mental exercise) - I now have to ask questions on the best ways to teach an unlearned generation the best ways to prepare for their futures.
I guess I still have the reruns in syndication - but Bernie, I feel your pain.

7 comments:

CNu said...

lol,

oh.no.you.did.not call some little niglets, "niglets"!

priceless....,

brohammas said...

I still have a scar on my hand from ice blocking.
I always told my wife that the most dangerous segment of society is teenage, middle class boys (usually white). They have means, energy, and are bored out of their minds.
When you were a kid it started with toilet papering, then eggs, then paint guns. We used to fish in the local irrigation canal with dry ice bombs. throw it in, boom, and all the fish float to the surface. I watched Dukes of Hazard and one day decided to make an exploding aarow just like on tv. Took a small "hobby rocket" filled it with black powder, drilled out the tip and mounted a percussion cap ion the tip. You should have seen what it did to that garage door.
Mailbox baseball, mailbox dry ice bombs, and heaven forbid one of us makes a cooler full of water balloons.
My wife looks at me in complete confusion when I talk of this stuff. She comes from where you get killed by someone stupid, I come from where you get killed by doing something stupid.

FreeMan said...

Niglets is pushing it where is Constructive Feedback when you need him! LOL

Well my times growing up were full of felonious activities. Arson, Animal Cruelty, Robbery and even Burglary. My fun times are enough to get us arrested so I know when people say bad kids because we were bad.

Hey it's more rewarding to fix the family problems instead of trying to fix the worlds problems. Speaking on your neice my older brother used to tell me the same thing that I'd better be here when I get back. Now I didn't tease him like my friends did but he didn't show any mercy. He taught me the lesson that since I was with my friends even if I didn't say anything I still had to get punished. So I got beat up pretty bad for not running and screaming at the top of my lungs I didn't say anything wrong.

Well blogging is therapeutic because you get to say what you mean. It's also productive because the kumbaya folk get to hear the truth not some kumbaya crap! Oh yeah that was for brohommas! LOL

uglyblackjohn said...

@ SeeNew - Is that racist?

@ brohammas - What about driving by people and spraying them with fire extinguishers, driving by people and throwing eggs or water balloons.
I had to stop some kids who were trying to egg me as I was jogging because they didn't understand that you have to lob the egg - not throw it.
(If thrown straight, the egg spins right into the ground.)
They were shocked that I wasn't mad - But I couldn't be, I'd done the same thing years ago but with a better technique.

@ FreeMan - Umm...
My hood fun was different from my suburban fun.
This post (and what I admit to my cousins) is just the "Eddie Haskill" stuff.

CNu said...

The very first time I encountered that term was on a Stormfront bulletin board back in 1993 or so..,

uglyblackjohn said...

Oh, I heard it on some old movie (80's) with a racist guy haunted by small Negro statuettes.
My boy "Turtle" and I fell out.
I seem to use the term whenever I'm talking to some bad-ass little kids.

Reggie said...

I feel Bernie Mac's pain too John.

There are times that I sit back amazed at what we found to be "fun" when we were children. Activities that kept us occupied and out of trouble for the most part. Today's children are confronted with things we weren't; but they're also victims of the last generations progress. With computers and video games, they sit on their asses and just don't exercise the way we used to. They are overweight and unhealthy as a result of that.

One of my young cousins in Detroit was shot this past Friday night, his uncle was shot to death in Detroit less than 10 years ago. These kids today will shoot quicker than Kryptonite will kill Superman. When we were kids we would fight on Friday and play together on Saturday........this isn't progress.