Friday, February 5, 2010

Bitter Is The New Black

A soon to be released book written by a uglyblackjohn points out the difficulties met when Black men seek an attractive, successful Black woman.

The book is filled with information listing the dilemmas of finding an "educated and successful" Black woman who doesn't speak in the forced affectational dialect of author Helena Andrews (Bitch is the New Black).
Listen to Michelle Obama speak - does she sound like a wanna-be Valley Girl?
No, Mrs. Obama speaks in a comfortable manner not known by those who think they are repeating what they hear being spoken by those on national news programs.
These women are just fakin' da funk.
(And who wants a knockoff instead of an original?)

Most "educated" Black women are not really educated at all.
What they are is informed with facts given them on a myriad of past (and passed) tests.
They have the information - but few understand the meaning or context.
Most "educated" Black women are boring nerds.
Does any desirable woman look at a nerd before looking at the fly brotha' with game?
No.
The same applies to men - we don't like nerds.
(But we do like smart.)
Most "educated" Black women aren't even smart - they are usually just smarter than a bunch of their dumb friends and family.

Most Black woman are fat.
Don't trust me?
Just read the report in The New York Times which states that American woman are getting fatter but Black women are getting fatter faster.
Do all of these "successful" women look for a flabby brotha'?
No, they look for someone fit - just like men look for fit women.
There is a difference between being "thick" and looking like the Value Pack of Chitterlings at your local Sam's Club.
Sometimes "more" isn't better better.

Most Black women are too short.
Don't believe me?
Just read the article in The Washington Post which points to this fact.
Would a "successful" Black woman seek out a short fat man as her first choice?
Nope, and neither do successful Black men seek out short fat women as their first choice.
Tall Dark and Handsome is looking for Tall Dark and Sexy.

Many of today's "successful and educated" Black women don't know how to relate to men.
Most have been told that they are special so much that they tend to believe it.
Many believed it when their fathers (if they were around) told them that they were princesses.
Many believed it when their mothers told them they were the prize all men should desire.
The problem is that today's woman cannot stand to be in a subordinate role.

Many of today's Black women don't even know what "Good" is.
Many are so concerned with labels that they don't take the time to learn about the quality of a product.
Many would spend $120 on a 300 thread count sheet set at Macy's because it has a Polo or Nautica label but pass up a $70 900 thread count sheet set at Tuesday Morning because it doesn't come with a label they recognize.
Most would be impressed with a Polo outfit without understanding that Ralph Lauren's Purple Label has more snob appeal.
Many "successful and educated" Black women think that wearing more elitist brands makes them elite.

Many Black women think a Black man wants a Diva or Queen.
Really?
Except for Latifa - how many successful Black women feel the need to add a title to their name?
If you gotta' tell people that you are something... you are probably NOT that thing.

Okay, okay... .
This post was written in jest.
It's just dumb for this woman (and her fans) to imagine that there are no good Black men (Not "No-Good" Black men) out here.
If you are offering what is desired, men will come to you - if not, sit back and complain about the dearth of Black men (And then write a book about it.).

15 comments:

brohammas said...

My fingers were warming up to praise my educated black wife and then, even before the end of your post, I realized...
Crap, I'm a symptom of the problem!

That movie "something new" was AWESOME!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
doll said...

mmmm,

had to go and check my facts about thread count as I have found a lower thread count sheet to be more cosy than a higher thread count. Interestingly I discovered that a very high thread count is not indicative of a high quality product but is simply complying with consumer sentiment. An educated Black woman buying a 300 tc sheet at a higher cost is probably getting a better product than a 900tc sheet at a much lower cost.

Anonymous said...

ubj
Have ye a woman?
-K.

FreeMan said...

Ok UBJ are you ever going to apply the spam catcher so we don't catch the dick who keeps popping crap about weight loss on your site?

In the Blackblogoshpere this book has been making its rounds of discussions. I guess there is a big market for Black women complaining about unqualified men. I swear women need to go and sit outside a law school and grab the first brother they see if it's that important. If I want a woman that cooks and it's important to me I'll be outside a culinary institute for sure.

Someone told me "Ask for What You Offer" I think that applies in this case too.

Mr. Noface said...

This is tough, because I know Ms. Andrews personally through a mutual friend, but I agree with you (even if your post was in jest). In the end, if you find that you are not attracting the type of person you want, all you can really do is take a good look at yourself. This is why I pay no heed to black women who say that there are no good men, because they really mean is that they're unable to find and keep any good men. If your not getting the kind of fish you want, change your bait.

(All I can say about Helena is that she is not nearly as bitter and haughty as she presents herself through her book. For what it's worth...)

uglyblackjohn said...

@ Anon. - Unfortunately, no.
I'm still dating a couple to take the place of the one I'm seeking.

@ FreeMan - I wonder how women would feel if a book like this really did come out.

@ NoFace - "...because (what) they really mean is that they're unable to find and attract any good men."
Exactly my point.

uglyblackjohn said...

How does one apply a spam catcher?

Reggie said...

Damn John you went off!!!

I don't mind a nerd, provided she's sexy. If she's got a booty like Buffy and some ( @ )( @ ) like Esther, I'm down with the nerds.

While I like my sisters thick, I don't like them fat. I'll be the first one to say that don't nobody want a bone but a dog......and while I like a little jiggle, I don't want too much jiggle.

But brother........you're definitely preaching the word in this blog!!!

KST said...

Oh my... So much to say, so little time. I get so tired of black men and women putting each other down. We can sling mud all day long, but Fuck. Don't people EVER get tired of picking each other apart?

Clearly not. Which is why I encourage you to go to order Jimi Izrael's "The Denzel Principle: Why Black Women Can't Find Good Black Men" at Barnes and Noble, Amazon.com, or Borders. Official release date: Feb 16. As his assistant, I highly recommend it.

Yes. I did. ;-)

Val said...

Throughout this whole never ending conversation I think everyone (men and women) is generalizing too much.

Also we have to be careful how much about ourselves we ingest from the Mainstream media. They distort everything. Especially when it comes to Black people.

I think things are a lot better than many suggest. But a lot of the people making us think things are so bad are making money off of our supposed dysfunction, the woman you reference in your post, Steve Harvey and the media come to mind, so we have to rely less on those type of sources.


Lol@most Black women are short.

FreeMan said...

Askimet is the main spam blocker on blogs. Look up a Plug In or Add On called Askimet and it will filter a lot of the spam out of your site meaning they know what IP's are connected to spam.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ KST - What is the book about?

@ Val - I was using generalizations and their related news sources to point out that any opinion can be sourced to make them more credible (to some).
I think all these books are making women look for bad men to prove that their issues are not their fault.
That this is a trend among Blacks.
But thinking the way these books do will cause these problems to exist.

What these books don't tell you is that professional women (of all races) are less happy than in past years.
That educated women (of all races) are having problems attracting quality men.
That working on ones career before having a family usually diminishes ones prospects for marraige.
These are problems for working women - not just Black women.

KST said...

The book is about relationships and the expectations of black women and men in relationships. Barnes and Noble has a nice blurb.

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