Tuesday, June 16, 2009

No Thank You

I'm not a "Fatist".
But I do know the difference between "Ba-dunk-a-dunk-dunk" and
"A Chunky-chunk-chunk".

I'm not saying that some larger women cannot be attractive. In fact, it has more to do with personality and confidence than just appearance.

When I saw S. Epatha Merkerson in Law and Order, I didn't cringe.
But when I saw her in Lackawanna Blues, I thought "How cute!".
She just seemed nice.

I've always thought Sheryl Lee Ralph was sexy.
Really, there is little difference in appearance between she and the co-host of The Daily Buzz.
But Ms Ralph just comes across as less man-hungry or desperate than does a Mo'Nique, a Sherry Shepard or a Kia Malone.
(Really, Sherry Shepard looks "prettier" than Whoopi - but somehow, she comes across as less attractive.)

Often - when approached by a woman - "No, thank you..." is what I'll say before she even finishes her opening line.
But even when said politely, the phrase generates an anger within the female that cannot be described.
Would they prefer a more brutal "Oh, hell no!"?
Or would they prefer for me to lie and pretend to be interested - only to be ditched at the first opportunity?
I always thought that saying "No, thank you..." was being polite.

Maybe it's the Hunter/Gatherer thing.
Maybe I like to be the one doing the hunting - not being the one being hunted by an over sized beast.
Maybe bigger girls feel as though they have less to lose. They feel that they must be emboldened to pursue what they "know" will not pursue them.

But there is a difference between 'big and juicy' and 'big and fat'.
When I was in Cali - there were big girls. I even think I had a handful of big girls as friends.
But being that there were so many better proportioned women to meet on a daily basis - the big girls were just incidental.
Now, (here in the South) all I see are big girls.
Not big boned (I've never seen a fat skeleton) - but gruesomely fat.
I don't want to look at television or sit down at a restaurant and have my meal ruined by seeing a woman who looks as though she is about to steal the food from my plate.

But it's not the weight so much as the lying that gets on my nerves.
"I'm foine" being said by a woman who is 5'4" 38/44/48 and 210 lbs. is ridiculous.
Two hundred and ten pounds?
C'mon - she would be in a weight class (heavy weight) that would have to contend with Muhammad Ali in his prime.

"The bigger the cushion - the better the pushin' " - Maybe.
I like how models look - their clothes fit so well.
But many are just that - just skinny little hangars on which designer clothing hangs.
They are a case of something looking good - but feeling horrible.
There has to be a better ideal than skin and bones.

Now the new movement seems to be one of telling the truth.
Of admitting their weight and working with it.

I'm not saying that I think these women are fabulous - just that they are at least admitting the truth.


RunningMom said...

I think the important part is figuring out why you carry extra weight and working on that. Sometimes it's a medical condition, sometimes it's a mental condition and sometimes its from pure laziness.

I would say that my size/body type closely resembles the girl on the website you mentioned in the black dress with the yellow jacket and red handbag. I'm still cute, but yep, I would look even better if I lost another 40 - 60 lbs. All I can say is I'm working on it!

I think that for you to dismiss someone based on weight solely because there are prettier people to talk to is a little shallow. I'm under 200 lbs, but I bet that girl in the pic isn't, and she is far from being a disgusting fat pig... at least in my eyes.

Mr. Noface said...

Just like there are skinny model types that are only good for lookig at, there are oversized girls that are only good for looking at. However, when it comes to attractiveness(sex appeal), I'm usually drawn to the "healthy middle". It's not that skinny or overwieght girls can not be asthetically pleasing (at least in the face), it's like what you said in your post, the feel doesn't match-up with the look.

No, thank you! and Aw hell naw! sounds the same to the person to whom those statements are directed. The both sound like this in their minds; "REJECTED!". So, no matter how polite you are, feelings are going to get hurt.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ RunningMom - "Shallow"? Maybe.
But I don't think I said that I dismiss big girls for being big - I just never really met that many doing the activities that I'd do.
As far as dismissing a big girl at a club who tries to rub up on me, or who tries to mack... I don't like ANY woman who seems desperate.

@ Mr Noface - "REJECTED"? Yep, so it would seem.
But I'm sure that if they were interesting and not so brazen, I'd talk to them.
But many big girls would assume that the dismissal was based on weight alone.