Saturday, September 5, 2009

Ghetto With A Good Job

IMO - One of the worst situations possible is for a earner in a family to be "Ghetto with a good job".
This is common in the area which I now live.
The local refineries pay $130k+ a year to people who have little to no education or acculturation.
This is fine... for that one generation - but this just adds to the rate of failure for subsequent generations.
The kids talk about how they are "rich" but themselves have no ability to do anything but work at Mac Donald's.
While economically middle-class - socially, many are just ghetto-fab.

The problem is that the family has resources but little understanding of the best way those resources should be used.
Usually, that one generation buys all of the rewards that are generally ascribed to success - but there is rarely any investment in the success for the family's future generations.
The family doesn't create any generational wealth.

Maybe that old commercial that warned to 'pass along one's values as well as one's wealth' went largely unheeded within many of our communities.
It seems that many parents have made things too easy for their children without a proper support system (morality, education, productive friends, etc.) to sustain that lifestyle.
The value of having a good work ethic seems to have eluded today's youth, but the value of consumption hasn't.
And without the education, social skills or connections to maintain the lifestyle to which many have become accustomed - many of these will be worse off than they would have been if they were forced to earn what was their own.

I refuse work on the homes of people who live this way.
Most can't afford me - not because they don't have the money, but because they don't have the money to spend on what they are asking.
I cannot, in good conscience, upgrade a house with pillars and tile floors when the money should be spent on "Your Baby Can Read" instead.
I cannot take money from a family who wants a new pergola - but they are working too much overtime instead of spending time with their children.
I cannot help a family self destruct on consumption.

How can I tell that they are are still Ghetto?
Because the pieces don't quite match up.
These are the homes that have the cars of their grown-ass children (who still live there) parked on the front lawn.
These are the homes that have large rooms but have every piece of furniture pressed against every wall. (This is usually a remnant of living in small spaces where there was no other choice. In larger rooms, the design concept is to set up little vignettes to delineate the use for each area.)
These are the homes that have huge lion sculptures that take up way too much room for the area being decorated.
These are the homes that have really nice stuff - but come across as tacky.
These are the people who claim a college degree but still speak as though they just came off the block. (Simple conjugation of verbs goes a long way in making an impression and opening doors of opportunity.)
These are the people who are more worried about appearance than they are of performance.

But the thing is - most Ghetto people don't know that they are ghetto.
Kind of like Nene calling that woman from Escape "ghetto". (Yeah... I watched TRHOA.)
The woman from Escape knew that she came from the hood and still had a bit of hood in her,
but Nene thought that she was upper-class even though she is the most ghetto of the bunch.

10 comments:

Max Reddick said...

This is a good one, uglyblackjohn. I know many people like this, both friends and relatives. I know individuals with homes packed to the rafters with gaudy furniture, who purchase every new electronic product that hits the market, and who drive top of the line expensive foreign cars, but in the same instance, remain every bit as culturally and socially ignorant as our brothers and sisters with very few resources.

I have a relative who, along with his wife and one child, have never been outside a hundred mile radius of his home. Their oldest daughter did travel with us to the NE one time, but when she arrived home and excitedly related all the things she had seen and did, he got angry for some reason and has not let her travel with us since.

He wonders why I won't upgrade my vehicle, but instead, would spend money traveling around the world with my family. He doesn't understand why I won't upgrade my electronics, buy that huge, big a televison, but will spend money on Broadway show tickets or traveling to museums and exhibits or paying for music lessons and other lessons for my children. And the charge is usually the same--y'all just trying to act white.

The common fallacy is that money is the ultimate goal. But it doesn't matter how much money you make; it matters only what you do with it.

RiPPa said...

Being "Ghetto", like being "Poor", is all a state of mind. But hey, why condemn the "Ghetto Folks" with good jobs who more than anybody are targeted in this capitalist society of ours?

Anonymous said...

OMG! Im a guest from Black Conscious Thought. I saw the title and I was like ah ha! This is what I've been thinking for awhile now. I live in an area very much like that and I come from a family like that too. I just didn't know how to describe our situation,but I knew it wasn't right.
My parents work in factories(industrial) and both bring in about $85,000+/-(which is pretty good for a rural southern town). However,their habits are ridiculous and sad. I had to work sometimes 2 jobs in college because they didn't want to give me a dime and when I asked for something I NEEDED,I damn near had to beg,cry my little heart out. I was the first to graduate in my family,btw. I got very little fin. aid and of course they didn't have me or my siblings any college savings. So we have alot of loans to pay back(and they didn't want to help co-sign for).
My parents were those type of people that think when a child turns 18, you can stop parenting,stop helping,etc. Maybe because they started having babies at ages 16 and 20 and didn't get married until 12 years later and after having 4 kids. They bought me a very used car(10 years old,wayy over 100,000 miles,$4000), but scolded me when the car started to fall apart less than a year later! Growing up, we rarely traveled to places we didn't have relatives. Also growing up,I didn't get allowance,so my siblings and I would ask could we mow the yard,wash the car,rake the leaves,etc for extra money,but my parents would rather drive to the other side of town and pick up a crackhead to do it and pay him $5 a job.
We had to beg to do extra curricular activities that weren't "black" such as basketball,football,hip hop dance team... My sister and I would have rather played flute and trumpet in the band or take an after school art course. We did,but like I said,we had to beg and cry to get money for it,whereas,when when it came to basketball season,they financially supported us to the teeth. They spend so much money for new additions to this house,its ridiculous! But when I ask for help on paying for a grad school application and to take the GMAT,I was scolded for not being able to keep my job in this recession! They have several times downplayed my degree(Finance/International Business)by saying things such as "you went to school and I got more money than you!" Its so much wrong with my folks,and I can go all day,but I won't. I am only 22 and I used to argue with them about these things until I realized some people are just "too far gone" and they won't understand you,regardless what you say. Their mindset,I think,has affected the way my 2 younger brothers think. My father convinced one to go to the military instead of college,basically to get some quick cash,and eventually he went broke,has an (mixed)child out of wedlock,and now is in Iraq again. I admit,when I first started college,my spending habits were crazy and I had to learn the hard way. Also many families in the Atlanta area live like this. Overtime,I have really learned the meaning of Money doesn't equal class or happiness.

SjP said...

Interesting post. I do, however, agree with you 100% about NeNe (I've caught an episode or two when the young SjPs have it on...lol).

FreeMan said...

WOW, UBJ contracting service has the right to refuse service to anyone. No hat no shoes no taking care of the family no service huh? LOL

Real talk they just don't know how to build. They know how to acquire and that's why they are broke at the end of the day. They know how to work to look like they have it. They know how to get rich things but they have no idea how to become wealthy. Ahhh some people just try to make a better bed where they happen to be.

Really they are uncomfortable with moving forward. They feel they will not fit in. More than what they are willing to do will be asked of them. Also, they just classify things as bougie because they either never got the chance or someone they hate is currently doing it.

Nene is funny because she said she didn't grow up in the projects. She sure does sound like she did way more than Lisa or even Kandy for that matter. Some people think they are born ghetto which makes me laugh because the majority of people just embrace ghetto as their culture.

Nope said...

Take a look around you, the way your neighbors live this the way of America. We are in this crisis because everyone, not just ghetto Blacks were trying to be the Joneses. I am not saying it's right, I am just saying that maybe you need to look deeper into the other people you will happily work for.

Oh and NeNe is Ghetto.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ Max - I really wrote this post because I have a cousin whose family lives this way.
When I try to explain that her daughters and grandchildren are sorry because they've been given the rewards of sucess without ever accomplishing anything, she thinks I'm being bourgie or acting white.

The truth is - she is just trying to emulate all that she'd seen those from the other side of the family have.
But she fails to understand that their resources were built over generations.

Her side of the family always seem to want to compete with the other and thinks that material goods are the way to do it.
But her kids (and grandkids) will never have the lifestyle she's given them again after her death.

@ Rippa - Because they don't have the excuse of not having the resources (or chance) to change the direction which their family could go.
Because they keep their progeny in the hood by failing to take the next step.

@ Anon - Yeah... that situation sucks - but someone has to break the cycle, and YOUR children will be better for it.
My step-dad was (is) the same way and both of his sons are in prison in spite of having had every opportunity for a different life.

@ FreeMan - Lisa and Kandi? Ummm... how do you know ALL of their names?

But yeah... I think that many fear success more than failure. That most have become accustomed to failure and most don't know how to deal with anything other.

@ SjP - Everyone (Except FreeMan) has a scaprgoat to blame for their watching of TRHOA.
But I'm not hating on people who make money - just the fact that many don't prepare their children to do the same.

@ NunaOni - But since my concern has been to uplift those of my race, their's are the problems on which I'm working.

FreeMan said...

@UBJ - I actually like the show and I'm not afraid to say it. Hey I only watch SportsCenter and CNBC so I like to mix it up with some drama. Oh yeah throw in Mad Men, Entourage and Hung!

Oh yeah throw in Sheree and Kim. How bout that I know everyone LMBAO

brohammas said...

The core here is defining the end goal.
If it is money, end of discussion, they got it. If it is education for education's sake... "F".
But where so many attend school and learn simply to attain money later, then the one taking the school route has simply taken on more debt (bad), lost at least four years of earning potential (bad), and is now financially or materially behind in the game.
If wealth is the end goal.
Now, as many of your other posts allude, sustainability is an issue.
The good paying jobs for the undereducated are becoming more and more scarce. As consumerism slows, the economy moves from production to service and technology, those who took the short route to wealth will watch it slip away and the next generation will recede.
I f one goes to school to learn, they can attain that and still be poor. If the goal is money, some may attain that without learning or conforming to dominant social norms.
If the end goal is being a good person... whole different story.

uglyblackjohn said...

The goal is NOT to immitate a system that is failing.