Saturday, March 21, 2009

Or Fragile High Self Esteem

"Adverse effects of institutionalism include the inability of young children to form correct attachment witch puts them at risk for developmental delays (including speech delays), personality and behavior disorders such as Reactive Attachment Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder."
The study also cites data showing that the longer a child is exposed to an institutional setting, the worse it is for the kid.
And that the lack of proper health care, food and nutrition is a factor in a child's likelihood of acquiring serious illnesses.
Children who are abused sexually, emotionally, and/or physically may develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
"(Institutionalized) graduates lack coping skills and have low self esteem. They are frequently unprepared for life outside of an institution and become less productive members of society.
Most will have behavioral, emotional and social problems with varying degrees of severity."
From; Dickens, Boys-Town or Purgatory - Are Institutions a Place to Call Home? - Victor Goza, Daniela F. Ileana. Ivor Irwin

Some symptoms of low self esteem (or fragile high self esteem) are;
The inability to take criticism,
The inability to laugh at oneself,
Blaming others or circumstances for every setback,
Constantly arguing over petty issues,
Being quick to pick a fight,
Being overly dependent on others to look after you.
( http://www.leadersdirect.com/loself.html or http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080428084235.htm )

Have you ever noticed the similarities between 'hood values (gaining respect, money and dominance - at any cost) and prison values?
Maybe it's because one breeds the probable future inhabitants for the other.
Maybe it's because the same mentality is required to survive in each.
Maybe it's because many pass these values down to the next generation.

Harlem Children's Zone founder Geoffrey Canada notes that even his school's successes can quickly be undone by the families and neighbors of his students.
He notes that the way most Black people raise their children is only conditioning them to be dependent and subservient.
And that the old methods of a survival during Slavery model are only making another generation of slaves.
How many times do we give substandard performance a pass because the person doing the work happens to be Black or members of our family?

I have to talk to grandmothers all the time because they keep telling their grandsons that they're doing well (and good) - even when they're not.
This re-enforcement of substandard performance only breeds a false sense of confidence.
True confidence can only be gained by competence.
So if competence is our goal - let's be real, and point out our flaws and shortcomings (and the right answers on how to fix these problems).
Maybe I'm wrong, but IMO - this Low Self Esteem shit is only us doing harm to US.

118 comments:

RunningMom said...

"I have to talk to grandmothers all the time because they keep telling their grandsons that they're doing well (and good) - even when they're not."

Absolutely. Kids need goals and aspirations. They need to see that you care about their education, they need to be guided, questioned, and sometimes poked and prodded. They do not need to be made to believe that mediocre is "great" it's not and never will be. They should be enouraged to be better than anyone before them, unfortunately sometimes when a smart child shows potential the parent gets jealous instead. It's a shame.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ RunningMom - "...sometimes when a smart child shows potential..."
I just had a parent get mad at me this past week for helping her son with a chem. projuct.
"I ain't shit, and he'll never be shit" was her response.

I'm still in shock over the ignorance of posibilities.

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That's where these parents are so wrong. They need to understand that they have the power to be the wind for their children to fly instead of the ice that keeps them grounded. So what if you aren't a rocket scientist - maybe your child could be. I hope that your influence overcomes her lack of self esteem. I wish I could send some her way.

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