Friday, March 6, 2009

"X" Marks The Spot

"X" is where most of us want to be.
"X" represents everything that is good.
"X" is where everyone is judged by his character,
or the work he's done,
or the righting of wrongs,
or the relationships made.

The road to "X" varies, based on one's starting point.
Most people want a good life with a nice home, a stable job, good schools, safe streets and respect from (and to) others.
Most people don't want to rely on handouts.
Most people want to do well for themselves.

But while our desired destination may be the same - our roads traveled, people met, life experiences and influences will almost always be different.

Personally speaking, race doesn't matter.
Why?
Because I've seen the best and the worst from many people.
I've been hated on by neighbors and taken in by strangers.
But I've also been threatened by strangers and protected by those close to me.
Different situations seem to have different variables.
I can't jump on the "Hate YT" band-wagon.

Early in life, I was separated from the "other" Blacks and placed in advanced classes at school.
When I was eight, we move from the Eastside ('hood area) to Canyon Crest (thought of as a "white" area). When I was fourteen, we moved back to a bad apartment complex in the 'hood. When I was seventeen, we moved back to the "white" area.
When we moved to the "white" part of town, my parents put a pool in the backyard. Since we had a pool, we needed swimming lessons. Swimming lessons led to swim teams.

So, separated by neighborhoods, classrooms and the sport of choice, many Blacks thought that I was "acting white".
The funny thing is, many of those who thought this of me, earlier, now live in the same area where they thought only whites (or rich people) lived.
When I go back home to visit, these same people are some of those who I'll go to lunch with.
Their perception of what is "white" and what is "Black" has changed based on their experiences.
Most of their children live the lifestyle that they hated-on earlier in their lives.
Beef, BW and Kel all remarked that they used to think that everyone who lived in a certain area, spoke a certain way or had certain interests had lost touch with their Blackness.
Now they see that it's just a different level of Blackness.

One of my best friends used to think that I would separate my Black friends from my white.
But this wasn't the case.
Most of them knew of each other, but few actually got to know each other.
Once, I rode with him to watch our high school team's basketball game.
When we arrived, he saw my white friends and said, "That's okay, you can go sit with them".
"Nah man", I replied, "C'mon.".
After that, he would play basketball with us during the last period of school (after our sports were over, we'd have free time to just mingle with the other sports).
To this day, to a man, they (my white friends) ask what (and how) he is doing.
One of these white guys is in trouble for alleged racial abuse in the Cathedral City police department. But he still asks about my boy.
You see, even though it wasn't his (my Black friend's) intention, the white guys built a level of respect for him.
Their exposure opened their eyes to more than one aspect of Black life.

But I've also been hated on by other Blacks.
One of my friends (Pierre) was set to be married.
When he asked his groomsmen whether I'd be in his wedding, one of the guys said that I wouldn't go to a Black wedding.
But I was friends with Pierre. We used to tutor elementary school kids together.
In the end, it was assumed that I didn't want to take part.
So I was often excluded from activities that other blacks thought that I thought I was too good for.
WTF?
But this takes place more often than one might think.
Some people just make assumptions.

But even when I was hated-on it seems that the Big Boys would always step in to keep me straight.
When I was in Hawaii, the Samoans, Tongans and Fijians wanted to jump me.
(They thought that I was too arrogant.)
Guys would come to my dorm to warn me of my pending (intended) butt whoopin'.
I was warned not to leave the campus.
But threats of being jumped were nothing new to me - they always ended up being nothing but talk.
I'd walk by the threatening groups and just wait for the action to start.
Mute (The HSIC - Head Samoan In Charge) came into the weight room one day - he gave me a pound and a hug and waved a finger at the rest of the Samoans.
That was that. No one went against Mute.
I received apologies from every group within the hour.
This cycle has been repeated from my childhood throughout my adult life from even the most unlikely of allies.
If some boys wanna' get me, even bigger and badder boys always make sure that I'm taken care of.
In Riverside - some Bloods and Crips keep me safe in certain areas, some Hispanic guys from Chicano Lords, Tiny Dukes or I.E. get my back in the barrio, and a group of Aryan Brotherhood guys from Yucaipa and some police officers (with whom I grew up) keep things straight with the whites.
I can't hate based on race, too many from different races have had my back.

But in stating my views of what is needed to "Uplift The Race" (as Spike Lee says), I'm just pointing out flawed thinking and actions that have failed us for too long.
Holding on to past baggage just weighs us down.
Dismissing reliable and worthy allies slows our progress.
Failing to adopt ideas that work stymies our evolution.
Calling something that is bad something good only lowers our standards and goals and then the final outcome.

While the roads we travel may be different - it's the final destination that matters.
My views are shaped by the fact that race wasn't (isn't) a major obstacle on the road I'm taking.
Your road my be littered with racial issues - I can understand that.
But if you're heading for destination "Y", chances are, you're not going my way and I can't really help you.

4 comments:

brohammas said...

How transcendant of you. I'm not being sarcastic, I mean it.
You have had life experiance bringing you in contact with many types and your personality has allowed you to find acceptance with all. You are ahead of the game and generally, or rather ideally agree with you.

Where an ideology may be true and best for one it may not be so inapplication with another.

Most of the people I hear proclaim that race doesn't matter, are white people. They make this claim when they hear a black person complain of discrimination, or when they come in contact with a black organization (BET, HBCU, FreeMasons, etc.). In this case I dissagree. In these cases race "should" not matter. What many whites fail to understand is that race DOES have an affect on the daily life of those who are not in the majority. While race may not matter to you UBJ, it does affect how a cop approaches you during a traffic stop.

White people not understanding this brush off all racial issues, feel themselves as being the enlightened ones, and meld back into the apathetic masses who turn a blind eye or ear to anyone trying to broach the subject.

Then they get pissed when someone in govt. calls us cowards.

Hey boso! You wanna fie kava? I'll even be the toa.

DPizz said...

This is a good, interesting and enlightening post!

With respect to race, I agree with most of Brohammas' comments.

Given that your "views are shaped by the fact that race wasn't (isn't) a major obstacle on the road " you're taking", yet you write a blog that frequently deals with race based issues, you are very likely to get some differences of opinion, since, I believe, many people of color and many others, would agree that race DOES play a factor in the lives of many. If race does not matter to you, why then are you writing about something that is irrelevant to you personally? Are you simply blessing us with the wisdom of your non-racially tinged enlightenment? To go further on this point, in stating your "views of what is needed to 'Uplift The Race'" these merely represent your opinions and not some absolute truth. What you perceive as flawed thinking and actions may not be perceived as that by someone else. What you consider to be reliable and worthy allies, may be viewed differently by others. What you think is bad and only lowers standards, goals and outcomes, someone else may embrace as productive and worthwhile. Sometimes when I read your posts, I get the sense I'm being preached to: The Gospels of UBJ - the absolute truths of race, poverty, and achievement in the world. I sometimes feel your position is, because this was true for you, or because you referenced some Bible quotes (automatically excluding any non-Christians)or because you view something this way, therefore it is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH and should apply to others similarly. (I imagine some of this is merely a function of writing a blog and the need to take a definitive position to make an effective post) It sometimes reminds me of the rigidity and close mindedness of those Christian Right Bible Bangers. Think like we think, believe what we believe, or damn you.

I agree, it is the final destination, the ultimate goal that matters and I suspect there will be much more debate in the future on opinions of how to get there.

Either way, I generally enjoy your blog posts. I'm highly critical, but that's stimulating for me, and, genuinely, I have a difference of opinion on some of your viewpoints.

On a personal note, having some personal knowledge of some of the events mentioned in your post, I question the accuracy/(perception) of at least one of the assertions, but it was too long ago for me to remember definitively one way or the other.

Race matters for me, and I hate Blacks, Latins, Asians, Samoans, Indians, etc. - all the ma-der-f_ckin races, especially Whites (f_ckin Howlies). Got my Hawaii related reference in too.

Citizen Ojo said...

Ugly Black John - your experiences are valid the thing that seperates you from other folks is that you had an open mind. Most people don't and thats why there is an us vs them mentality. Most people feel comfortable with what they know. It's Human Nature...

uglyblackjohn said...

@ - brohammas - I'm not saying that race isn't an issue - I'm saying that most of the time, race isn't THE issue.

I've gotten a couple DWBs whenever I first moved into a new suburban neighborhood and came home from work at 3-4 am. After I explained that I worked in a bar or club - the following nights, I was just waved to by the officers.

But I have been approached by a few Black officers who were trying (a bit too hard) to show how they treated everyone as equals by being extra hard on me.

But most officers react to my actions. If I'm polite - they're usually polite.

As far as Kava - it's gives me a headache.

@ DPizz - Usually, race is a factor - not THE factor.

I've been down a few roads to escape poverty, but not all.
I can only go by my experiences and let others know what roadblocks may be ahead on those roads.

(The Gospel of UBJ? I may use that one day.)
The Biblical quotes are there just to note my point of view (or influences) - not to justify (qualify) anything.

@ Ojo - Thanks and yes, I agree.