Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Fakin' Da' Funk

Maybe looks shouldn't matter - but they do.
Barbie is looking pretty good for being 50.
Before the introduction of Barbie, most models in magazines were about 5'2" and roundish.
After Barbie... ?

People like to say that the Barbie ideal is seen as desirable because it reflects a healthy physique.
But studies are now suggesting that having a fat bottom could be in a woman's best interest.
http://www.topnews.in/healthcare/content/-2686having-big-bottom-can-cut-diabetes-risk
J-Lo, Shakira, Kim Kardasian and Beyonce have made the callipygian ideal more desirable and acceptable to the mainstream.
It wasn't too long ago that it was reported that Janet Jackson had liposuction to remove her naturally round hips. And that was during the apex of her popularity.

Whether someone is good looking or not is usually just some one's subjective opinion.
Ask my friends whether I'm ugly and most of them will say "yes".
But ask their wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers or daughters and almost all will say that I'm not.
It usually comes down to what was taught to be the ideal

I can't stand Mo'Nique - but Sheryl Lee Ralph is sexy.
I think Rhianna is kinda' ugly - but still sexy.
(But not ugly like Brandy - who looks like a trout.)
I think Beyonce is pretty but not sexy (I don't know... maybe it's that country accent that puts me off.)
I think Halle Berry is pretty and beautiful but nowhere near sexy. And when she tries to play sexy in a movie... I'll pass.
That lady in Baby Boy, Hustle and Flow and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Taraji P. Henson) is cute.
IMO -
Pretty - Good to look at.
Beautiful - Good to collect.
Sexy - I would hit that.
Cute - I'd take care of her.
Ugly - I'll pass
But women hate to be called cute.

But what we are often told is attractive is really just someone trying to force a new view of beauty on the masses.

Lisa Leslie - Nope
But Candace Parker - Yes

Jackie Joyner Kersee - Nope
But Flo-Jo - Yes

Oprah - (Have you seen The Color Purple ?) Nope.

But these women developed skills that would allow them to compensate for their unfortunate looks.
Instead of trying to change the rules of beauty, they understood them and developed traits that would allow them to succeed in a looks based society.

The women from the movie Maybe He's Just Not That Into You is another case of forced beauty.
Jennifer Connelly looks kind of dirty. Like Helena Bonham Carter, she looks like she just needs a good bath.
Jennifer Aniston is okay but has to truly realize that Brad upgraded when he chose Angelina.
Drew Barrymore has that forehead and jaw line that makes her look like one of the statues from Easter Island.
Of the cast, only Scarlett Johanson is good looking.

But again - looks are primarily based on what one is used to or has learned to idealize.
I've always confused Michelle Pfeifer with Melanie Griffith, who I would confuse with Meg Ryan.
Or Reese Witherspoon with Claire Danes, who I would confuse with Julia Stiles.
Pheifer and Danes are the only ones approaching any type hotness.
But I still confuse the lot of them.

Many men have a fetish for Asian girls.
This is largely due to fact that they haven't seen enough of them to judge them as individuals.
Believe me, like other races and ethnicities - there are a lot of ugly ass Asian women.
The only Asian women most men have seen are the ones in movies.

If I were to just look at Bollywood films, Asian Indian women would be the hottest women on the planet.
Every one of them would be seen as having the same traits as those on the screen.
My limited exposure to only the best looking women would influence my views of all.
If I were to only look at all of the Black "Mammy" and slave characters in old movies, my opinions would be shaped in a negative way by these images too.

But understanding that looks are usually only a subjective measurement - on the whole, preferences exist.
But to all the ugly ladies who feel the need to post a sexy(?) photo of yourself on YouTube/FaceBook/MySpace and trying to lie to yourself that you are hot -
Please... stop fakin' da' funk.
(If I hear one more obese and ugly lady who sits on her couch watching the judges while criticizing someone like Beyonce's little sister Solange about her looks or her level of success, I'm going to snap. "B**** please, you're a beast!" is what I'll say.)

4 comments:

RunningMom said...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I dated a guy once that people said was "unattractive" but I loved him anyway. His personality and demeanor made him attractive to me.

Sometimes I think I'm pretty.. sometimes I don't. I'm always surprised when a man or woman tells me I'm pretty or cute or beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Wow - now I always rate Beyonce as neighborhood pretty and not really ready to take on the heavy hitters. Alot of the girls you see on the internet are trying to blind you with their ass but if you looked at their face you would pass. I agree with you girls don't like to be cute and that's usually a great compliment. I even told a girl once she was the best pound for pound = meaning looks, personality, intelligence and morals. She got mad at me and said she wasn't a boxer.

I know you see what I see when you're out. Alot of women have the specifications for beauty like a thick asian girl but I can see they are really not that pretty. Alot of people go with the gimmicks as I even had a boy who told me he like light eyes and thighs so I introduced him to a fat white girl with blue eyes! It's totally subjective but it's the way of the world at this moment. Damn Internet has taken being pretty on Caliente on Telemundo and given you laptop access.

uglyblackjohn said...

@ RunningMom - Yeah, but you yourself say that the guy wasn't the best looking. Standards of beauty exist.
It's just that your standard of attractiveness wasn't limited to beauty.

@ D.FreeMan - Pound for pound? Ima' steal that one.

Really I was just venting because I had just listened to one of my cousins and her beastly friends hating on the women on the red carpet at an awards show.
And I mean that these girls are the grand-slam of unfortunate looks - but still hating.
I just held my peace and continued my discussion with their sons on domestic violence.

Anonymous said...

I will never look like A'Rai (Bollywood Super beauty from Bride and Prejuidice) or a young Catherine Zeta Jones. I have accepted like Oprah that I can never capitalize on my look or pull men becuase of my physical features and charisma. Most men cannot see past the physical to determine if the woman is a good person, therefore I have worked on other areas to compensate for my looks and although I have never met a man who can see the interesting person beneath, I have a full life and interests that make being invisible a whole lot easier.