Monday, March 15, 2010

Associative Reation

Back in the day, I had a plate of poorly prepared shrimp.
I didn't know the shrimp was bad until later in the night when I developed a rash and began to feel nauseous.
For years, even the sight or smell of shrimp would produce an associative reaction that would send me rushing for the nearest restroom to rediscover what I had eaten earlier in the day.
(Ooohh look, corn.)
After a few more years of handling shrimp in restaurants, I was able to suppress the gag reflex and again enjoy a plate of this flavorful crustaceans.

I've often been told that I should not judge the Bigguns based on their appearance.
That I should treat every individual with common courtesy and as an equal.
But much of what we don't like as adults was shaped by our experiences in childhood.

I've never liked fat women.
Back in the day - I had a morbidly obese aunt steal part of my inheritance left by a grandparent.
After that, whenever I saw a fat lady, I assumed that she had to be greedy.

I had (have) a loud, fat, older sister who would always try to bully us boys when we were children.
Since I couldn't hit girls, I had to take the punches thrown by this insecure girl venting her social frustrations on us smaller boys.
To this day, I still hate loud, fat, bossy women.

As an eight year old, I was held down and forced to have sex with a group of teen aged fat girls for most afternoons of my summer break.
To this day, I am still repulsed by fat women and the smell of unwashed hair.


But was my disdain for fat women wrong?
Should I have adopted the tastes of those in the African country of Mauritania.
Should I celebrate the fatness as a display of wealth?
Could I cure my fat-hatred by prolonged exposure to fatness - the same way I did with shrimp?

13 comments:

  1. Now I'm the last to tell you to "go big". Attraction 9is a personal thing and one is entitled to taste.
    But as the resident devil here I gotta point out that I have heard many a racist tell of how they were beat up by a bunch of black kids back in middle school and just don't like black people now...
    just sayin.

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  2. I co-sign Brohammas' point. I personally have no problem with casual ridicule of larger folks - even though now I am quite fat as well. It is what it is. But your seemingly unabashed hate, dislike, dismissal, discrimination of fat people on no other basis than their outward appearance, pretty much destroys any credibility you may wish to bring to your other posts concerning race, racial issues, etc. You are essentially doing the same thing racists are doing, just on the basis of size.

    As Brohammas points out, I have come across many people who harbor ill feelings towards Blacks, discriminate against them, don't date them, don't fuck them or don't consider them human beings because of some prior bad experience they had with Black people.

    Your dislike, based on your past experience, may not be unreasonable at all, but it's not right. And to color an entire group on the basis of your experience with a few, is an argument many of us Blacks have been making for a long time. Is there a difference here?

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  3. Co-sign brohammas & DPizz. Well said.

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  4. Everyone is being PG but you have too many ugly fat experiences to not form some kind of hatred for a certain size woman.

    When women get raped they usually have a harsh reaction to men for years. I think you being held down to have sex with fat women is a big enough scar.

    See what people don't want to talk about is that the act is so awful that to ask someone to get over it is like asking someone to get over their leg being blown off. I'm not going to go all kumbaya on you because just like Blacks should be aware of the tendencies of whites in your case you should be aware of the tendencies of fat women. It is a stretch to tie your situation to racism as you are one man while what most Blacks deal with is a common story.

    So you being scared of fat women is justified and since you are not doing any harm to them what difference does it make. You are not advocating, passing laws or restricting fat women from doing anything. So do you but I know what I am going to show up as for Halloween down in Texas. You guessed it The Klumps! LMBAO

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  5. Those fat chicks raped you when you were eight? I am very saddened to hear that UBJ. That has to leave a scar. In addition to the Auntie who swindled you, there is certainly valid reasons for how you feel inside. This goes beyond prejudice. Most rape victims experience this sort of thing. After I was assaulted as a young woman the first time, I couldn't be around white guys with strong southern accents because they reminded me of the guy that violated me.Even if they never did me any wrong. Now I'm okay with that demographic but it took years of healing. If you pray for healing, in time it will come. Jesus Christ!

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  6. UGB, I'm going to have to co-sign with everyone except Freeman (The Klumps really?).

    I want to say, "Poor Pookie" and give you a cyber hug! Instead, I will ask if you've ever received counseling for this and if not, please do so. The side-effect of distaste for larger women is only one piece here. You suffered a trauma as a child and at some point it may need to be addressed.

    Sorry to sound all preachy.

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  7. I know my experiences left emotional scars, maybe even those which would lead me to group all the Bigguns together.
    But since I could overcome my aversions to shrimp by exposure - why couldn't it be done with The Bigness.

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  8. Exposure might help. I have only recently been able to tolerate cunnilingus and begin to enjoy it because of repeated exposure by someone who cares for me.
    I had never thought that it would be possible to over-write childhood experience.

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  9. UBJ,

    That is so sad and a cyber hug may not be what you need, but that's what I have to give.

    ***Hugs***

    Shrimp is not the same as an aversion to big women - the latter was a very traumatic experience at a young age whereas the former was a bad culinary experience. The cure for the former could have the opposite effect with the latter and bring up all of those bad memories again. I hope you've sought some kind of help to deal with the past, only when you're healed up inside can you face a big woman without feeling some sorta hatred.

    ...peace

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  10. I'm thinkin a few rounds of Boondock Saints type "love" would go along way toward equilibrating the scales of justice uncle John.

    Let me know whenever you're ready to organize a few runs. (we don't have to kill'em if you're squeamish or anything)

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  11. ^Oh for cryin' out loud. UBJ: Please do not take him up on this offer as I have a feeling shooting people with hot pee will be involved.

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  12. oooo-Wee KST!!!!

    that hard kink you just disclosed is giving me goose-pimples all over!!!

    Hot Wet Bigguns

    - a narshty instant classic -

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