I'm done.My last hope has fallen.
The last family that I mentor on making the leap from the 'hood to the middle class has just seen their primary bread winner receive her pink slip.
This woman has only a high school education and has worked for the same refinery for the past thirty years.
She just bought a new home in a middle class neighborhood two years ago.
She had never NOT lived in the ghetto - in spite of having a $130k a year job in the second cheapest market in which to live in America.
I convinced her to keep her old home and to rent it out for a price that would cover her mortgage payments, insurance, taxes and maintenance.
I convinced her to stop eating out at restaurants twenty meals a week.
I convinced her to consolidate her credit card debts.
I convinced her to sell her time-share. (Well... really, to just stop making payments.)
I convinced her to buy the best quality products she could afford and to take care of them.
I convinced her to only buy the clothes, furnishings and products she really wanted or needed(and not just because she liked how they looked).
I convinced her that it didn't matter how much she made if she never had anything to show for it.
I convinced her that just because she had the money to buy something - that didn't mean that she could afford it.
All this came to an end today.
Her three grown children are so dependant on her that they will be of little help to her in keeping her home.
Two of her grown children have been fired from their jobs in the last month for not producing at work.
Her grown children treat her new home like it is a resort that offers free; maid service, cook, laundry service and free financial grants in aid.
She caused her family to fail because she demanded little of her children - and getting what she demanded (little) in return.
Now she plans on walking away from her nice, but not extravagant, home.
Now she plans on going back to her old ghetto home.
Now her grown children are nowhere to be found.
Man, my heart truly bleeds for this woman.
ReplyDeleteYou must feel a certain pain yourself after helping her to move in a better direction ... wow.
God bless her.
@ Sheila - Yeah... I'm crushed.
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing you can tell somemone is "I told you so".
Her kids are still shopping like they have no cares in the world.
degrees are no insurance against layoffs, trust me.
ReplyDelete$130k + 30+ years, plus just bought the house 2 years ago... she should have been able to pay cash for that house.
ReplyDeleteHow devastating though for her, and her kids... they should be doing everything in their power to support her and help her keep her house. I'm kind of glad my mom put me out at 17. I know the value of hard work and refuse to fail because I know the only person who I can count on is me. This enabling grown folks to mooch after 20 gets on my nerves.
Sadly John while you did a great thing you were working against some generational stuff. My Grandmother was great at taking care of her business. When she passed in December she had a house, car, great credit. She had retired from two jobs and had raised three kids (My mother, uncle, and myself). She had a sense of taking care of business, that she never taught anyone else. She didnt teach it to her children hence they didnt teach it to me. Hence she is the only one in the fanmily that owned property.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job of showing her a path, which she kept to herself by not only not making her children responsible but not teaching them how to take care of themselves.
My granny always came to my uncle's rescue (well she was there for all of us) when he hit a wall. unlike my mother and myself he never learned problem solving skills when times got hard or problems came up, he always involved her. Can you guess which one of the three of us is suffering most since her passing?
My point is while you were teaching her, she should have been teaching them.
Man,I just chalk it up to life in general. This recession is finally starting to hit the good people who actually were doing the right thing. I don't want to go and blame the kids because the chief act was the job that caused this not the kids. The kids could prepare for bad situations but that's too late now and hindsight is 20/20.
ReplyDeleteShe took a chance and during regular times it would've paid off. She was disciplined and believe me it will pay off in her life but this isn't anything but bad times effecting good people.
@ brohammas - I know, but they offer more opportunity for a job that pays as well. Even the networks formed at college can come in handy.
ReplyDelete@ I know, huh?
But her family (like many others who are uneducated and work in refineries) failed to understand that the money made was a tool and not the goal. Most people here make a nice sum of money but few have anything to show for it.
@ DJ - "My point is while you were..."
Exactly
@ Freeman - She probably won't lose her house.
I looked at her bills and;
Cut down to basic cable (bundled with her phone service and internet service),
Told her to treat her old house as a business and not a charity (making sure that her daughter pays rent more than three times a year),
Told her to have her two grown children that live with her to at least pay a bill each,
Refinance her loan (already pre-approved by her credit union and recommended five months ago by me).
This gives her an extra $1,300 a month.
Her house payment is $1,600.
In making these changes - her share of her usual house payment goes from $1,600 down to $300.
She can live in her house with a job at McDonalds.
Now all she has to do is follow through this time.
That's cool that you got her to see how 300 is possible but I bet she isn't counting on her family to pay her. She might need to get a security guard job at the lumber yard they pay better than McDonald's and if she can take some stray cats its a cool gig. I used to do it up in Sacramento during summers just sitting back in my mustang listening to talk radio hitting the keys.
ReplyDelete