What is up with all these bitch-ass little boys?I spent the holidays with the families of my cousins who aren't doing as well as they could (or should).
I've never seen so many young males so concerned with things that used to be thought of as the traits belonging to little girls.
I'm not saying that boys need to grow up to be thugs - but they should not grow up acting like prima donna bitches either.
I thought the women on Sex In The City were silly for obsessing over shoes, the right hair-cuts, talking on the phone, and being more concerned with looking good than being good. Many of today's young men put those women to shame in their desire for the superfluous.
I asked one of my cousins (13 yr. old male) about the appropriate ages for different household chores.
His responses;
Clean own bedroom - 3 years old.
Take out the trash - 4 years old.
Cook own meals - 5 years old.
Mow the lawn. - 6 years old.
Do own laundry - 7 years old.
Wash dishes - 7 years old.
Okay... the ages seemed a bit young to me too, but the fact that he understood that chores are a part of one's childhood responsibilities is what's important.
Over the holidays, I saw many young adults treating their parent's homes as though they were guests at a resort.
I saw single moms who still treated their almost grown sons as "babies".
(He'll always be their "baby" - but he stopped being "a baby" a long time ago.)
These mother's inability to say "No" has caused many in this generation to have unrealistic expectations based on limited abilities or the appropriate social skills.
Without the needed adjustments - we're in for a generation that is expecting a certain lifestyle but lacking the preparation needed to ensure their goals.
I'm asking mothers;
At what age do you stop treating your sons like little girls - instead of men in training?
Man you must've tapped my phone when I talked to my sister. I have a nephew who is 14 and you would think he is his mother's roommate. He has his own TV, Computer, and even a fucking refrigerator. Now my sister can't even get him to take out the trash without screaming at him. Now when I talked to her and said take all that shit out of his room and make him work for it she said she wanted to reason with him. In her house she gives chances. So I told her in my house he doesn't fuck up like that at all. You would think it's the military the way he is up took a shower, and ready to go because he knows I'll damn near kill him if he isn't ready when I am.
ReplyDeleteSo I asked my brother about this and he said women care about the boys happiness while men try to prepare him to be a man. He said no matter what I told my sister she will never be so cut throat to treat him like a young man. She thinks he is too young even though he is 6 feet tall and is extremely smart. This is another bi-product of not having men in the house. I do my best to pick him up every two weeks and make him stay with me but realistically he adjusts back to his mother as soon as he gets back.
It's the women raising damn babydolls and thinking boys need to be cute. Instead of as a man we think he needs to be prepared and we try to make him be strong mentally to take on the challenges ahead.
I think Freeman press was close but I think the problem is a little deeper than that. Over the last few years a lot of women have decided that they are going to raise the type of men they want to date.
ReplyDeleteI dont thin they are even taking into consideration that they are raising men who are becoming pampered spoiled nancy boys.
Interesting post and comments. There is an even larger possible explanation for some of the undesirable traits you and your commentors decry. There is a lot of evidence that indicates that the fundamental parent-child relationship is significantly different in younger generations than say Gen X (which I'm presuming you and your commentors belong to). My Brother, who does alumni admissions interviews for his alma mater, first brought this to my attention when he shared some of the research he was provided by the school for his admissions interviews process and described some of the interactions he had with admissions candidates.
ReplyDeleteThe research indicates that, for example, the so called "millennial Generation" has a relationship with their parents characterized by overly doting parents, reliance on their parents well into adulthood, no burning need or push for independence and more of a friendship relationship with their parents. These characteristics, the research indicates, produce some of the negative attributes you all discuss. The Millennial parent child relationship is in stark contrast, generally, to the nature of the parent child relationship of Gen X'rs, where the parent was chiefly disciplinarian and guide, children where not doted over as many where part of the latch key generation, and children could not wait to exert their independence.
I did a quick google search and dug up this article that discusses some of the things I remember from the research I saw (if anyone is interested): http://www.shrm.org/hrmagazine/articles/0507/0507cover.asp
A)Parenting is a two person job. It is impossible to care for, provide for, instruct, and teach by example, all at the same time without a teammate.
ReplyDeleteB)I have a young friend whois considered the success in his family because he graduated high school and has never gotten in trouble.
He has also never gotten off the couch.
I met him when he was 18 and he had all these hopes and dreams...
now he is 22 with all those hopes and dreams, and still hasn't gotten off the couch.