Is This Racist?

Why'd they have to show a brotha' with some pork?
Why did he have to be out with he other WHITE meat?
And she's blonde to boot?
WTF?

Dee's Just Jokes Son

Anon. said - "the only problem with laughing at (oneself) is that (ones) enemies are laughing at (them) too. I guess that makes you your own worst enemy."
Pa- lease...
If I say, "White Guy Penis" - what comes to mind?
(No not you brohammas - I'm sure you can tell us many stories about your "White Titanium Phallus of Power".)
If I say, "Asian Booty" - what size and shape comes to mind?
If I say, "Bee-bees", "Dirty Kitchen", or "Naps" - what image do you see in your mind's eye?
If I say, "Italian Female Moustache" - do you know of what I am speaking?
Sometime words are used to better aid in a description which may have been based on stereotypes.

C'mon son... these are just jokes.
Imagine these little girls laughing at Ms Ford because she has "great big tiddie balls and a big round bottom".
How would a grown secure woman take such jokes coming from these harmless little children with their limited experiences and/or perspectives?
It's just amazes me that some people put so much value in the opinions of others - many of whom they don't even know and most of which will have little or no impact on their daily lives.

When "I" state "uglyblackjohn" - I know that looks are subjective,
and that "Black" is an ambiguous term,
and that "John" (my real name) is common.
"Uglyblackjohn" doesn't mean that I'm ugly,
or subjugated,
or oppressed by some mysterious master - only that you don't know me.
It's as though I'm nobody but at the same time I am everybody.
The name should elicit a sense of commonality - not a sense of derision.

Since I don't see "Slave" when you say "Black" - this problem is your own.
If your whole identity is tied to that of being the pitiful perpetual victim - I can't understand that.
If the whole of your well being is tied to what others may think of you - that's something you have to deal with.
(I've moved past this level of low-self worth.)

I Hate Roses

Well... I don't really hate them - I'm just not that fond of them.
Most of the time the florists don't even remove the thorns anymore.
I can't think of a more hackneyed Valentine's gift.

My preference is for Gladiolas or Cala Lillies.

Every Valentine's day I make my run to deliver an inexpensive box of chocolates and a bouquet of Cala lillies or Gladiolas to the many women in my life.
No, not the women I "do" - but to aunts, cousins, neighbors and friends.
I'm not at all romantic, I just like to give women flowers and candy.

Once, while stuck in Honolulu over Christmas break - I gave roses to the hookers on Kalakaua on Christmas Eve wishing them each a "Mele Kalikmaka".
"Have a date?", was their reply.
"No, thank you.", was mine.
Every weekend after that, the women would come by and talk to me and thank me for my nice thoughts.
It was at this early age that I discovered the power of an unexpected flower.

As I've gotten older - Valentines Day has more to do with habit than it does with any form of romance.
Relationships have become more about a business merger than anything to do with romance.
I remember liking a girl because I liked the way she smelled.
Or smiled, or I liked her hair, or maybe even just her voice.
These days - most women are too easy.
There isn't even a need to court a girl anymore.
Most women don't even know how to wait for a guy to open a door, or have a guy take their arm while walking up a flight if stairs, or even receive a compliment without thinking that a guy wants something from them.

I'm really not all that cynical concerning Valentine's Day - all my women seemed to enjoy their candy and flowers.
But I think what they enjoyed the most was that someone thought of them.

Happy Valentine's Day

Bogeyman?

Why the need to create such negative images of Obama?
Could it be fear?
Fear of the unknown?
Are TeaBaggers just acting as little frightened children shuttering at the slightest noise heard under their beds or in their closets.



Come to think of it - weren't those involved in Alice's tea party a bit crazy too?

I.Q.

IQ test don't really measure ones knowledge - or what one knows.
What is being measured is what one doesn't know about a limited spectrum of subjects.

Low Self Esteem

The above image was used as my avatar on another site.
I guess the name "uglyblackjohn" would cause some to think of an image such as this.
Am I mad?
Heck no, that ish is funny.
Really... how much melanin could I have if my father is Creole and my mother is half-Native American and half-Mexican?
I'm not really ugly either.
How many straight guys want to be called a "Pretty Boy".
If I were ugly in reality - I'd have a title that would reflect how good looking I am.
Something like, "HandsomeLightskinnedJohn".
Maybe even add "King" or "Divo" (Deus, Doi, Divus, Divie, Divot, whichever...) to mimic the women who use the titles "Queen" or "Diva" before their names even though most are neither.

The thing that gets me about people who cannot even joke about our people (even in the midst of our people) is that many of those same people see other Blacks (many of whom they don't even know) as illiterate Gang bangers.
Many imagine themselves as the 'Talented Tenth" whose goal in life is to shun the other 90%.
What's funny is that many of these really haven't moved vertically from the hood - what was accomplished was more of a lateral move.
Many of the self-proclaimed Black-Intelligentsia are still members of the servile classes.
Many only think from the perspective of being aspirational within the current economic framework instead of thinking as an owner of ones own model.

It's often said that "Blacks can't work with/for other Blacks".
But this is wrong.
What is really the issue is that, "Low self esteem Blacks can't work with other low self esteem Blacks".
This is the proverbial "Crabs in a bucket" phenomenon.
Many LSE Blacks hate to see anyone else having what they themselves cannot possess.
Blacks with true game are not as driven by the need to impress.
Blacks with true game know that sometimes it's best to make the extra pass to ensure that the team wins.

But don't get these people mad.
They may even protest because John Meyer won't be dickin' them down anytime soon.
Really?
John Meyer?
Women who complain that Reggie Bush is hittin' Kim Kardasian because she is not Black are mad that John Meyer chooses to have a David Duke dick?
What's the sense on that?

Some choose to find racism in anything that is not Cosby-esque in it's depiction of Blacks.
Is this recent Doritos commercial really racist - or is it just funny (and true)?
I've dated several women who have children.
I'm usually dating the woman in the hope of eventually getting a bit of Oodie-ooh!.
Usually their daughters develop a crush on me while their sons are eyeing me like the little boy in this commercial.
Even without a word being spoken, "Keep my hands off his momma, and keep my hands of his (fill in the blank)" is understood.
The only ones who even imagine this commercial as being racist are those who have not dated in a really long time (If ever).
With the recent divorce rates - situations such as this are more likely to arise than not.

Ronald stated that I don't know enough about my history to refer to someone as "Slavery Black" without feeling guilt.
But this is not the case.
I don't limit Black History to the one hundred years of American Slavery.
(America; est. 1776 - Emancipation Proclamation ratified; 1965)
When you say "Black" - I don't say "Slave".
When you say "Africa" - I still don't say "Slave".

Usually what has occurred is the conflation of two separate conversations.
One - Speaks from the perspective of the eternal subjugated victim.
The Other - Speaks from the perspective of the master of his own destiny.
One - Bitches about how badly he is being treated by his boss.
The Other - Works to establish himself as the boss of others.
One - Whines about all the past injustices put upon him by his several masters (all the while choosing to remain on the plantation).
The Other - Is in a constant fight for freedom for himself and all of those around him.


I don't get mad easily.
My feelings are not easily hurt.
I've been through enough ish to realize that most ish is just dumb ish.
My home (in a neighborhood that is probably better than your own) is fully paid off.
My rental houses are fully paid for so that I don't' even collect rent if I don't feel like it.
My cars and truck, farm and vacant lots are fully paid off.
My home already has enough antiques and Mid-Cent-Mod furnishings to satiate my desires.
My wardrobe is already filled with Robert Graham, Jhane Barnes, Armani, Valentino, Nat Nast, et al. so I have no need to impress people by wearing common brands like Polo.
I have enough so that my concerns have shifted from getting for myself to that of helping others.
I do the girls most guys only have in their imaginations when they are enjoying a bit of "alone time".
I'm not saying all this to be boastful - in fact, I acquired most of my goods by shear luck.
I'm not trying to fit into any one's select society.
I know enough to have a conversation without having the need to come off as a pedant.
Honestly - You can call me "Ugly", you can call me "Black", you can even call me a "Nigger".
But just don't bother to actually call me until you are ready to do more than talk about problems that don't really have any effect on your day-to-day life.
Don' t bother to actually call me until you are ready to actually do something.
If people like Ronald feel so inclined to allay their own low self esteem by shunning others - that's their game.
If people like FreeMan wish to share their talents with those who have yet to realize their own (even if it means going into neighborhoods where a Low Self Esteem Brotha' is afraid to go) - that is a different game.
As for me - I'm not one who suffers from low self esteem.

Your (Low Self Esteem) conversation; "There is a problem and Black people are it.".
My conversation; "There is a problem and Black people are the solution.".
Different perspective - different conversation.

Recipe For Success

Teaching boys how to cook isn't as hard as some might think.
Since these boys eat a lot of pork (at their mother's and grandmother's homes),
I decided to teach them how to cook a pork tenderloin roast.

Step 1; Dice and mix - two clumps of garlic, one onion, 2tsp crushed red pepper, 2tsp of black pepper. (NO salt - the pork is salty enough already.)
Step 2; Stab the heck out of the tenderloin so that it resembles the parents of Lizzie Bordon.
Step 3: Fill the cavities of the roast with your fresh mixed seasonings.
(Step 3 1/2; Cook three strips of bacon in a medium to large pot until the strips are crisp. Set the crisp bacon strips in the refrigerator.)
Step 4: Place the roast on it's side and turn until all sides are properly browned.
Step 5: Add two inches of hot water to the pot and allow it to slowly boil for about an hour.
Step 6: Add fresh carrots and potatoes to the pot and allow to simmer for another 45 minutes.
Step 7: Remove pot from heat and allow meat to rest.

Step 8: Mix two pints of chocolate ice cream, 1/2 cup of chocolate syrup, one cup of half and half in a blender with the chilled bacon strips to make a Chocolate Bacon Shaken.
(I know, it sounds terrible but it actually tasted good.)

What's the point of all this?
This week, I had to babysit a couple of teen aged boys while their mother was out of town.
These boys' mother thought that I was going to cook and clean while she was away.
But I'm old school - I believe in boys doing what is required to ensure that a home runs smoothly.
These boys had someone enforce rules and expectations on them (probably) for the first time in their lives.

As the boys boasted of their cooking skills to their grandmother, she boasted of her cooking skills of yore.
This conversation moved from school, to friends, to pop culture, to what she expects from each of them.
As these boys have televisions and computers in each of their rooms - there was rarely a situation when this family would eat dinner together.

After a week of this interaction - these boys seem to sit and talk to their grandmother more.
These boys now ask questions about how and where their grandmother was raised, where she'd worked and about the history of there family
Their grandmother is now looking over their homework (even though she doesn't understand it herself) which they seem anxious to explain.
These boys once again became members of their own family.

On the return of their mother, their grandmother boasted of the newly acquired abilities of these young men.
Their home was clean, their homework was done, and their family was fed.
Their mother had assumed that I had done all the housework but she was surprised to learn that her boys were more capable than she'd ever believed.

IMO- We have become victims of our own "success".
Too many seem more focused on "Keeping Up With The Jones' " at the expense of developing strong cooperative families.
Sure, a father in the home might be the most desirable situation - but what is really missing is leadership.
Too many parents are trying to be liked by their children instead of developing respect from their children.
Too many have lost focus on a strong foundation that will enable their children to make smart (not popular) choices.
Too many don't even know the value of themselves.

White Palms & Pink Nipples

Kids believe anything.
Yesterday, I told a group of boys that one could tell how Black someone was by the palms of their hands.
Pink Palms - White or Part White
Brown Palms - Mostly Black
White Palms - Slavery Black

I told them that this also applies to nipples.
Brown Nipples - Not White
Pink Nipples - White

Today they told me that I was correct.
All their darker friends had brown or white-(ish) palms but that the light-skinned friends had pinkish palms.
(And don't even get me started on their nipple research.)

Maybe I should be more careful in the myths I unintentionally spread.