I'm Better Than You

 What's our fixation with being better than everyone else?
Isn't it better just to be ones best self?

 I come from a family which has been free since long before the beginning on the Civil War.
The lighter skinned Black children of slave owners in Louisiana were often given educations and the rights and ownership of property.
My Families have donated land for churches and schools for their communities.
As someone recently said to me, "You have a good name."
But I am not my name.
I am not defined by what those who came before me did or did not do.
I am not defined by membership in any group or organization.

But many members of my family think that they are better than those around them.
My grandmother was member of the first class to integrate the nursing program of a local university.
But the thing I could never stand was her constant need to become a member of some 'exclusive' group.
Why join a sorority which is just an imitation of that which you claim to despise?
The thing I could not understand was that most of these groups were founded to exclude others because those founding these groups were excluded from joining the parallel white groups.

 If I have to sit through another affectational cotillion which favors light skinned Blacks over the darker ones I'm through.

 If I have to listen to the 'Sisters' of my grandmother, aunts and cousins tell me how 'important' the Eastern Stars are I'm joining the Klan.

 If I have to listen to another pitch from the 'brothers' of my grandfather, uncles or cousins in the Prince Hall Masons or Knights of Peter Claver for membership I'm leaving town.

 If I have to hear someone brag about membership in Jack and Jill I'm moving to the hood.

Hint: If you need classes to learn the social mores of a certain class, chances are that you are not a member of that class.

Sure, sometimes I'll use these connections when it suits me.
Like Paul in the Bible stressing his Roman citizenship when it suited him, I'll mention my family ties to get people to just shut the eff up.
But most people in the South still think we are living in the Antebellum South.
Many of the traditions here go back hundreds of years.
Most ways of thinking are still those of centuries past.
When I tell someone that they are not limited to the thinking of others, "That's because you're light", or "have good hair", or "come from a good family", most say.
But shouldn't this carry even more weight?
If I was poor, dark, had bebees and was actually ugly - wouldn't those hearing this think that I was only saying that these traits didn't matter because I didn't have those traits often thought to be superior?

Look, people are going to be treated as being inferior as long as they think that they are inferior.
People are going to settle for less as long as they think that's all they deserve.
Until people begin to exercise their free will and exert their personal responsibility/authority they will always be subjugated by another group.
People are going to chase status until they realize that the trick is to let those who have status seek them.
People remain in the hood for generation after generation because many believe that that is where they belong.

Your Value

Even the government recognizes what you know or what you do as being of value.
Even when no real money is exchanged when bartering for services - one may still be liable for taxes.
Insurance companies attempt to calculate what one might have earned if they would have continued to produce when trying to figure out ones Human Life Value.
Judges often weigh the social impact (education, volunteer work, membership in churches or philanthropic organizations, etc.) of a person when handing out sentences.
When one dies, what he'd done for others is mentioned more often than what he owned.

But most people value themselves by what they have and not by who they are.
In my younger years - my status was my identity.
When describing me, the description of my material goods or social status was all that people would mention.
But who wants to be defined by what they own?
Isn't that limiting?

As an test of my character I gave everything away.
I wanted to know if my generosity was just given from my abundance or whether it was part of my substance.
I wanted to know whether I was good or just lucky.
I wanted to do well but not at the expense of others.
I wanted to know whether I was of any real value beyond that of which I owned.

As of now, I'm still not sure.
Most of my attempts at helping others have failed.
Most of the money given away has been wasted.
Most of the time spent trying to teach others could have been spent doing more for myself.
I think that by helping others I've increased my self worth but diminished that of others who are now even more dependant.

Nappy Headed Ho's

 Most people were not offended when jokes were made about how ugly the Celtics' teams were from the 80's.
Sure, they won games but they were easy fodder for comedians and commentators.
The jokes are always funny when they are not about you.

The2007 Rutgers women's team cleaned up for this photo - but none of these women would stop traffic for being good looking.
When Don Imus noted that these were some "Nappy Heaed Ho's" - much of the Blackosphere was up in arms.

I walked by as a group of women were watching a recent women's basketball game.
As I noted that one of the girls playing basketball was kind of cute - all the women agreed.
As I noted that most of the others were kind of rough looking - most of these women became angry.
"You were probably mad when Imus called the women from Rutgers "Nappy Headed Ho's", I said.
This set of a maelstrom from these ladies.
"That was 'racist'", they all said.
"Why? They were all kind of rough.", I said.
"But it wasn't his place to say that.", they said.
"Why? He talks about current events.", I said.

As I brought back the jokes made about the Celtics from the 80's - most of these women agreed that that was an ugly team.
"That's because you don't identify as being one of them." I said.
"You see yourselves as being "Nappy Headed Ho's.", I continued.
"All those aspirational brands, all that makeup, all those weaves and perms, all that bling and being able to dive better cars and live in better neighborhoods does not mask the fact that you are trying to hide your own lack of self worth.", I finished.

These women are still mad at me.

Status?

 I'm not really a big fan of Ralph Lauren's Polo line - it seems a bit too pretentious for me.
But I do wear the plain sweatshirts if there is a chance that I'll get dirty or wet.
I have some friends who always invite me out on their boats.
I'm not into yachting but I seem to have the right clothes for it.

 While wearing an old shirt from school, everyone seemed to want to know where I got my old WMYC gear from.
Going to school on Oahu, Lahaina was just a short flight away.

On another occasion, I wore an old sweatshirt from an old America's cup race which is signed by Dennis Conner.
(The parents of an ex got them for me from a charity fund raiser back-in-the-day.)
The old guys at the local yacht club knew exactly who the guy was.
From wearing these old nondescript items I've managed quite a few invites to lunches, dinners and parties.
Who knew that casually wearing old clothes was an easy ticket to some of our local inner circles?

Good Choice

 There is more than one way to do anything - sometimes either choice would be fine.

 Either Megan Fox or Meagan Good?

 Either Wong Kar Wai,

Or Akira Kurosawa.
Sometimes it just come down to ones personal preferences.

Extended Childhood

 Yeah, Kim is baad - but I'm not keeping up with anyone on television.
I've got things to do.

 But why do so many fixate on the lives of those they don't even know.

 Of those they'll probably never even meet?

 On the lives of those which have no impact on their own lives?
Isn't this what children do?
Don't adults have real concerns?

 But while most Americans are focused on pop-culture - the world has real problems with which to deal.

 From Lebanon, to Tunisia to

Egypt.
Adults don't wish to be lulled into an extended childhood and told what to do, what to think, or how to act for their entire lives.

Why do the media continue to produce reality television?
To keep the population under control like children.
If we were forced to think and do for ourselves - maybe America would become just as volatile.
If we were forced to become responsible for our own well being - maybe we would not put so much faith in our failing institutions and beliefs.
If we were forced to learn and grow - maybe our eyes would be opened.
Maybe we would actually become conscious.

Nigga' Please

 Called a "Nigger".

 Called a "Nigger".

 Called a "Nigger".

Called themselves "Nigga's".

The only Negroes offended by the word "Nigga'" are those who still think of themselves as being Niggers.
Those who still think that they have something to prove.
Those who still feel inferior and feel as though, in reality, they are not even close to being good enough.
Those who use self-aggrandizing titles or names to prove their worth.
Those who bought into the belief that having more material goods is more important than having good character.
Those who only wish to be accepted by those they pretend to hate (When in reality all they do is emulate those same people.).
Those who are not really mad at an oppressive system - only that they are the ones being oppressed by said system.
But what do you think of when someone calls you a "Nigga'"?
What about a "Nigger"?
What do you think when you call someone else a "Nigga'"?
What about when you call someone else a "Nigger"?

If thinking that the actions of another are somehow 'seeting us back 100 years' - maybe your way of thinking is still 100 years in the past.

That's Offensive?

 The dude is just using what he has to get what he wants - what's wrong with that?
His logo is just a caricature of himself made to resemble the Colonel's logo - how is this a reflection of Black people as a whole?

 Are Irish-Americans upset because Notre Dame uses the short, fighting image which continues the stereotype of the Irish?

 Do all whites feel as though they are pirates or rough because Oakland uses such an image as their mascot?

 Or do they feel like Tampa Bay's old gay version of a pirate?

 I'm a fan of UNLV - but their Yosemite Sam-like logo portrays whites as buffoonish.

 Do white people view themselves as pale, poorly dressed, Ginger, clowns?

Look, Flav works the place, Flav owns the place - the man is just trying to make a living.

Don't Hate

People travel from all over the world to visit Los Angeles and many of those from a younger generation would not consider their visit complete without a stop at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.
Apparently Flava Flav has a good chicken recipe which he will use to launch his own chain of chicken restaurants.
While some wanna'-be bourgeoisie Negroes condemn Mr. Drayton as setting Blacks back 100 years - why knock the man's hustle?
Some are upset that by using his own image that it too closely resembles an old Black Sambo from half a century ago. (The man can't help his looks.)
He has the experience and financing.
It's an honest way to make money.
He's providing a service.
If I ever go to Iowa (Not likely) - I'll get some flavorful chicken.
To everyone making an issue out of a guy trying to make a living doing what he knows how to do - STFU.

Cool

 From Robin Hood, to Jessie James, to Bonnie and Clyde, to John Gotti to today's street gangs - thugs have always been thought of as being somewhat 'cool'.
In high school this group usually garners a bit of respect (or fear) from the general student body.
Many thugs still manage to get many hot women.
Few would call this group 'Nerds'.

 But in adult life the thug can keep his status by becoming a rapper (or an even bigger thug - or both).

 The same cannot be said of those who take part in drama.
"Band Fag" or "Drama Nerd" are more commonly used than "Cool guy in the school band" to describe those who are more inclined to act or sing.
Guys in the school band or in drama usually get the homely girls (if they are so inclined).

 But in adult life these former geeks can become quite successful.

 But what of the popular sports star?
The jock always gets the girl.
In high school he may seem to have it all - but if he fails to progress in his field (or any other) he will be like Al Bundy sitting on his couch with his hands down his pants telling stories about his past glory days.

 But the cool jock can become the cool professional as well.

 The biggest leap in status is usually accomplished by the Nerd.
The Nerd never gets the girl.

Nerds are smart enough to change what is considered to be cool to fit their own accomplishments.
-High School Thug to Successful Rapper = Ostentatious and Classless
-High School Artistic Type to Movie Star = Vapid
-High School Jock to Highly Paid Jock = Dumb Jock
-High School Nerd to Rich Nerd = Rulers of the World
Nerds diminish the accomplishments of those from other fields because they wish to put all those cool guys back in their place.
Nerds elevate themselves because they finally want their chance to get the girl.

(Now don't think I'm hating on smart people. Being smart is one of the few traits I respect. But being smart without being able to do anything with it is a waste. Being smart without being good in something else is boring.)

In Da' Club

 "Oh, now that some white girls come in you don't have time for us", a group of chubby female guests commented.
The trick to running a successful nightclub - or any business - is to make sure that every customer feels as though he/she is always a VIP.
Even if the woman has eaten her way out of competition for the most desirable men - the trick is to make her feel as though she can get any man.
But last night was one of those nights when I had to take care of a little business first.
Last night I had to sample products being sold by my liquor reps.

While I do well at running clubs, I'm not really a drinking man so I enlisted the help of a few regulars.
The liquor reps are hired for their looks so they usually get attention regardless of the surroundings.
Mix; free liquor with grateful patrons and a club filled with people still not over their scars from the Segregated South and what you get are a bunch of angry Black women.
Let a tall, slim, light skinned woman with her own long hair walk in and wait for the beasts to pick her apart.
If the woman is a bitch - I say nothing.
If the woman is nice - I say, "I don't want to hear it. That's my home girl." as I walk away from the conversation.
The bitter pack always apologize and then proceed to demonstrate that it wasn't they who where just hating on beauty.

Pigmentocracy is a bitch.
But things are worse for a non-Black woman in a majority Black club.
Especially if the woman is hot.
To those on the outside - the cadre at the table of our liquor reps were just paying too much attention to non-Black women.
To those at the table - they were just taking part in the selection of products we may choose to carry.

As the session ended - the liquor reps bought rounds for the entire club and handed out hats, key chains, t-shirts and jackets to promote their products.
At which point the pack of bitter bitches recalled who these ladies were.
"Oh. that's Whitney and Summer. I Like them.", the initial complainant said as she drank her free drinks.
(I'm on the "Always list". Which means that I always get free product and promotions from the liquor companies - in most other cases the promotions are geared to a certain demographic.)
Sometimes the resentment is justified - other times it's not.
(But these girls were pretty hot and sometimes - regardless of race - hot is hot.)

In Da' Club

 It amazes me that some drunk, mad, fat, ghetto-ass, hood rat, bitches (Not to be confused with Black women) think that just because they are trying to throw ptussy at a man that he is supposed to try to catch it.

 While these women imagine themselves looking something like this,

All most men see is this.

Don't Buy This

 While I'm a huge fan of Kohler's quality and workmanship - some of their products do not meet their own standards.
(While not a photo of the tub in my house) I have this same Kohler Centennial Series tub with the requisite 10k gold plated fixtures.
If properly maintained - the thing should last over a hundred years.

But Kohler seems to have missed in their design of tempered glass shower doors.
Sure, they look nice but they don't last.
The problem seems to be that the corrugated pattern is on the outside of the shower door while the inside is smooth.
So what's the problem?
The extra surface area on the textured side cools much more quickly than the smooth side which can cause the entire shower door to disintegrate with little warning.

Place a glass in a sink filled with room temperature water.
Now pour hot water into the glass.
The glass cannot distribute the temperature fast enough so it breaks.
This is what happens with Kohler textured shower doors.
The smooth glass on the inside of the shower cools slowly while the corrugated side on the bathroom side cools quickly.
And at $300 a pop - you may be better off just buying a shower curtain.
And having to pay someone like me $200 for an hour's worth of work is not a good use of your resources.