Or Fragile High Self Esteem

"Adverse effects of institutionalism include the inability of young children to form correct attachment witch puts them at risk for developmental delays (including speech delays), personality and behavior disorders such as Reactive Attachment Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder."
The study also cites data showing that the longer a child is exposed to an institutional setting, the worse it is for the kid.
And that the lack of proper health care, food and nutrition is a factor in a child's likelihood of acquiring serious illnesses.
Children who are abused sexually, emotionally, and/or physically may develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
"(Institutionalized) graduates lack coping skills and have low self esteem. They are frequently unprepared for life outside of an institution and become less productive members of society.
Most will have behavioral, emotional and social problems with varying degrees of severity."
From; Dickens, Boys-Town or Purgatory - Are Institutions a Place to Call Home? - Victor Goza, Daniela F. Ileana. Ivor Irwin

Some symptoms of low self esteem (or fragile high self esteem) are;
The inability to take criticism,
The inability to laugh at oneself,
Blaming others or circumstances for every setback,
Constantly arguing over petty issues,
Being quick to pick a fight,
Being overly dependent on others to look after you.
( http://www.leadersdirect.com/loself.html or http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080428084235.htm )

Have you ever noticed the similarities between 'hood values (gaining respect, money and dominance - at any cost) and prison values?
Maybe it's because one breeds the probable future inhabitants for the other.
Maybe it's because the same mentality is required to survive in each.
Maybe it's because many pass these values down to the next generation.

Harlem Children's Zone founder Geoffrey Canada notes that even his school's successes can quickly be undone by the families and neighbors of his students.
He notes that the way most Black people raise their children is only conditioning them to be dependent and subservient.
And that the old methods of a survival during Slavery model are only making another generation of slaves.
How many times do we give substandard performance a pass because the person doing the work happens to be Black or members of our family?

I have to talk to grandmothers all the time because they keep telling their grandsons that they're doing well (and good) - even when they're not.
This re-enforcement of substandard performance only breeds a false sense of confidence.
True confidence can only be gained by competence.
So if competence is our goal - let's be real, and point out our flaws and shortcomings (and the right answers on how to fix these problems).
Maybe I'm wrong, but IMO - this Low Self Esteem shit is only us doing harm to US.

Simple Models

Every family of hues (in the above image) shares some overlap.
This represents where and when certain groups of individuals share a common trait, history or ideology.
While each hue could be said to represent a sort of commonality of a certain group, the overlap also occurs between other groups or individuals from another hue family.
(okay... it's a simple model that can't connect all similarities between all groups, but you get the point.)


When I used to live in Cali., I would have a poker night on Wednesdays that would take place every other week.
Three girls would cook all the food, I'd provide the drinks (from a selection of 387 different kinds or brands of liquors), and the easy girls would always be in the house.

Most games would start off at 9:00pm with us watching the opening scenes of Menace To Society - until Sam Jackson shoots some guy at a card game and asks, "Do you owe me money...?" The guy would say, "Hell no...but here you go...". We'd laugh and begin to deal the cards.

Pots weren't that big, usually two to four hundred dollars, so no one was trying to make their rent from a card game.
Since I was "the house", I could keep two dollars from every pot. (This was kept to pay off "Bad Beat" jackpots on a hand of a Boat (Kings High). If no one won the jackpot, those at the last table would split the money.

But this last table was interesting.
Usually it would be the "kings" of different cliques, gangs or groups.
In most other settings, most of these people would be sworn enemies.
But at a card game at three or four in the morning - these were just a bunch of guys relating there common anxieties of keeping there hustles (and people) intact.

The above triangle model suggests the commonality of those at the top of their game.
(The red line is the gap necessary between a leader and those being led.)
While part of their group, they were still alone in that group.
These guys had more in common (presently) with each other than they did with those in their group.
While their histories were tied to (and similar to) their group, the dynamics of that group dictated that their only way of relating their concerns was to someone at the same point in a different group.

(Okay, I haven't refined these models yet.)

Who Is Smarter ?

Leroy bought this house thirty years ago for 40k.
The house is paid off.
Leroy worked at the local plant and hid much of his earnings in his mattress.
Leroy bought his car and work truck for cash and even splurged for an 84" flat panel television to watch the games on the weekends.
Since Leroy never went to college, he has no student loans.
Now Leroy is awash in cash in a down market with few outstanding debts.

Biff financed this house four years ago with his excellent credit rating.
Biff has Sub-Zero appliances, Kohler bath fixtures, marble, granite and hardwood throughout and contemporary furnishings.
Biff's student loans are paid up (but he still owes about 60k).
Biff's cars are only two years old (but he still owes about 50k total on both loans).
Biff has season tickets to the Cowboys, Rangers and Mavericks.
Biff invested heavily in his company's 401k and has accounts at his local Charles Schwabb broker.

Both men lost their jobs today.
Who is in a better position to make all the right moves?

America's Industrial Gangsta's

Again, 170 million out of 170 BILLION is only 1/1000 of the total loan amount.
Again, it's only like buying a few Chiclets out of a $100 loan.
AIG just went straight up gangsta' with that ish.
(Okay Invisible Hand, I know you would prefer "shit" instead of "ish". "Ish" is just being polite. Would you prefer the pretense of Michel Foucault and have me strike everything and to put it "under erasure"?)

I've never been a fan of Robin Hood.
I never got the concept.
Is the moral of the story; "Don't become rich, someone will come and steal all of your money and give it to poor people"?

I think that this is what is flawed in Obama's plan.
This is why Obama's Budget Plan won't work.
Rich people deserve to be rich.
Poor people deserve to be poor.
Rich people don't deserve to be greedy.
Poor people don't deserve to be oppressed.

I'm a small business owner who may like to become a big business owner.
But how would a 90% tax be any incentive to do this?
I addressed a more workable plan dealing with profitable credit unions (fixing the economy from the middle - out, instead of from the top - down (where too many people have grown accustomed to an instant profit) in an earlier post.
I'm no economist,
But this Robin Hood plan is just effed up.

Low Self Esteem ?

Our town's school Spring Break starts today, and all these bad azz little niglets are running around acting as if they have no parents.
I just had to pick up one of my young cousins from school early because he was involved in a food fight. (His mother couldn't pick him up because she was too busy getting her hair "did".)
But hey... at least it wasn't a gang fight or riot.
As is common prior to any release day, these were just kids having fun .

Many of our boys don't know who they are.
They have no role models to look to - to see how to do thing the right way.
If a kid doesn't know his father (or has no idea who his father is), the kid is going to have a tough time finding out what (and how) he is supposed to be.

If someone rich approaches the kid - the rich man will be dismissed as not being able to understand the kid's situation.
If someone poor approaches the kid - the poor man will be dismissed as not knowing how to succeed.
If an organization approaches the kid - they will be thought of as just another aspect of the government, and in turn - just another element to exploit.
This is why individual relationships are important.
Kids listen to those whom they respect (not necessarily fear).

But these kids have no idea how to see themselves.

What are you good at?
This is what I always asks young children.
If it's art - they're an artist,
School - a scholar,
Sports - an athlete,
Handling stress - a leader,
and so on and on.

They have to be able to see themselves as more than a latch-key kid.
They have to see themselves as more than a fatherless (or absentee father) child.
They have to see their future in terms at which they can excel.
They have to be more than Black. (Or to be more precise, more than the standard image of what it is to be Black.)
They can't see themselves as a victim of slavery - but as one of a group who overcame the institution.

They can't buy into the victomology of past or perceived wrongs. (If they focus solely on the "victim" aspect, that's all they'll ever be. Even when they've overcome their circumstance - all they'll see is "Victim" - they'll never be able to fully enjoy their successes)

But Blacks aren't the only sub-group with low self-esteem.

Many Asians, Latinos/Hispanics, Middle Easterners, Native Americans, etc.. blame their problems on their perceived race.

Fat people blame their failures on their weight.

Ugly people blame their failures on their looks.

Poor people blame their failures on money.

Gay people blame their failures on being gay.

Unschooled people blame their failures on their lack of an education...

Every group has their own form of victimology.

Every group (or person) is hindered by their own insecurities.

The whole 'You gotta' be twice as good..." speech worked for some - but doesn't work for many.

The philosophy itself isn't wrong, in fact it's useful.

But since no philosophy is universal - every kid needs something to believe in that helps them elevate themselves beyond their current situation.

Religion works for some, for others it's their extended family, and others are inspired by comic books or movies.

The medium is not as important as the message.

(As I'm typing this, I just popped one of my young cousins in the chest after shaking his hand. He brought a report card full of "F"s up to a report card full of "C"s. Good, but not the best that he could do. And he understands that now.)

Apparently, my medium is a solid blow to the chest (for some).

Yes,

I am Black.

But I can't view it a more of a liability than it is an asset.

I can't buy into all of the limitations the label holds.

When someone doesn't like me, it's more than likely because I'm often an ass.

If someone is rude to me - more than likely, I've offended them earlier.

If someone treats me unjustly - it proves their ignorance, not mine.

As with almost everyone else, I have my insecurities or shortcomings- But being Black isn't one of them.

Better Off Dead ?

Some things should just die off.

They become obsolete.

Are newspapers among these?

http://www.switched.com/2009/03/10/are-these-newspapers-going-out-of-business/

The problem isn't really the medium itself.

The model is flawed.

Why would Hearst, for example, publish a wholly different paper for every market?

Why not go the Gannet/USA Today route and publish a national paper?

Hearst could just add a local section to their national issue and cut back on staff, equipment and other overhead - while producing a product that could sustain itself at the lower cost.

IMO - As with many things, the medium isn't dead, just the business model.

Damn...

Any Josheph Campbell book - Breaks down the similarities of religions and mythologies from many cultures.

"The Tao Of Pooh "- Puts it all in a cute little package.

Julian Jaynes' " The Origin Of Consciousness In The Break Down Of The Bicameral Man" - Shatters everything you thought you knew.

SeeNew recommended this book for some "light reading". I've just glanced at the introduction - and already, I have a headache.

Kinda'

While this Verizon Hub ( http://news.cnet.com/8301-1035_3-10149009-94.html ) is nice, it still requires additional purchases.
What I'm asking for is a cheaper way to text (for those times when one doesn't feel the need for a lengthy conversation).
In a bad economy, people want more value for their money - not expensive gadgets.
Simpler is better.

A phone that uses a land line still works during power outages and is already hooked up to 911 services.
This comes in handy after a tornado, earthquake or hurricane.

IMO - The phone companies are throwing too many options at a simple product.

Home Texting

Why can't we get this
http://www.cnet.com.au/mobilephones/0,239025893,240004365,00.htm
in America?
It seems that Australian phone company Telstra has beaten many to the punch.

Wanna' make a few billion?
Start a HomeText (SMS) company here in the States.