The simple answer is "Nope!".Well not unless she thinks she can't.
Why?
Because if she believes that she can properly raise a boy to be a man she will rely on her maternal instincts in her decision making.
She will not notice when her son still sits down to pee.
She will not notice when her son is afraid of the same things she fears.
She will not notice when her son lacks heart.
She will not notice when her son lacks decision making skills that don't draw on emotion.
She will not notice when her son seeks comfort more than exploration.
She will not notice when her son spends most of his time talking on the phone, worrying about his hair style, and making sure every item of clothing matches.
She will not notice that her son has become a male version of her.
But if a woman does understand that she cannot raise a boy to be a man;
She will seek out challenging situations for her son to overcome.
She will push her son beyond the limitations he puts upon himself.
She will seek male role models who settle for nothing less than maximum effort.
She will not give in when her "baby" gets his feelings hurt.
She will speak to her son as though he were a man instead of trying to be his friend.
She will make sure her son understands that she is the boss of the house.
She will be the leader of the family and not a victim of her circumstance.
She will raise her son to be the man she wishes she'd married instead of the one she settled for.
How can a woman raise a boy to be a man?
By understanding that she can't.
I probably can attest to this being raised by a single mother. She never was my friend, she told me the truth about money, she told me no one respects a man who doesn't make some money, and she told me I have to be strong all the time. She told me she knew it was unfair but she said the world expects you to take the blows so take them.
ReplyDeleteNow my friends were always in the nice clothes, mother always enabling their laziness and always against authority. Now my mother on the other hand believed everything the teacher told her, gave them a note that said the teacher could hit me and damn near made me keep my head down when talking to adults. In other words I knew my place.
"She will raise her son to be the man she wishes she'd married instead of the one she settled for." I think this should be the goal for all single women but the problem is...... and this will be chauvinist can they get over their emotions.
My mother was cold and sometimes cruel to prove to me that I couldn't be a certain way. She didn't cave in and cuddle me when I was feeling bad. In fact when I was down on my luck she kicked me out and said NO one likes a weak man! So again will the average woman override her emotion to nurture when it's time to fight!
Oooh I'm so glad I fall (mostly) into category #2.
ReplyDelete@ RunningMom - It CAN be done - just remember that it is impossible.
ReplyDelete(But a woman of faith CAN do the impossible.)