Tuesday, March 31, 2009

brohammas' "Heffernan Theory"

Sitcoms are filled with "regular guys" who are married to women who (in the real world) would never even give these guys the time of day.
Jamie Gertz from Still Standing wouldn't even date this dude.
Leah Remini (King of Queens) was hot before she blew up. But this is the "before" photo - when she was way out of Doug Heffernen's league. (In the later shows, they're a more believable match).

Since it was the Drew Carey's show, he decided to get a skinny girlfriend. Although in real life, Mimi would be his girl

Jim Belushi's wife (According to Jim) had three kids and still kept her shape? Maybe this is because the writers' wives all blew up after having their babies. Their fantasy would be to have them retain some sort of sexuality. These shows are just their idealized version of their reality.

Even the eponymous George Lopez Show had to keep the fantasy going. His wife Angie is way out of his league.

In earlier times, a fantasy situation was created to justify a wife who was out of one's league.
Samantha (Bewitched) wouldn't date Darren - she would treat him in a way more similar to the way her sister Sarena threats him.

I guess if you find a scantily clad woman in a bottle - she belongs to you. Again, a fantasy situation is created to justify such a romance.


But these guys have nothing on the video game writers who create characters like this...

Or the graphic novel writers who create women like this.



This fantasy phenomenon is largely lost on Black sitcoms.
Tyler Perry's House of Pain uses actors that are in more realistic relationships.

So did the writers of Family Matters.

Okay, Tichina Arnold (Everybody Hates Chris)is no Florida Evans - But she not Stacey Dash or Melissa Ford either.

Yeah... Bernie Mac's wife (Wanda) was hot. But he plays a famous comedian... and the kids are not hers through birth.

Claire Huxtable was (is) the model for many aspirational mothers - even Black ones. But she was a lawyer and Cliff was a doctor. Cliff didn't work for UPS or at some production plant.
Shows like All of Us don't count. Lisa Raye and Vidal (from Out All Night, I forget his real name) were divorced. And Elise Neal didn't last on the show.
Kelsey Grammer (The Game and Girlfriends) seems to be the only Hollywood insider who portrays Black women as more than just fat and dumpy caricatures.

8 comments:

  1. In real life I know a few pretty girls with not so cute husbands. It's all about how they treat them that gets them in the end. I experienced it myself once. A guy I dated was not cute by the sociatal standards, but he was very smart, charming, nice and still had "it" - I know what "it" is, but I'm sick of the word..

    I didn't care what he looked like - I was attracted to him anyway.

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  2. UBJ, you obviously recognize genius when you see it.

    Now as far as the "Blossom effect"
    a) I will pass off all stolen cookies, broken vasses, and bad sitcoms on my little sisters.
    b)Sex and the City. If she ain't coyote ugly I don't know what is.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Another obvious "regular guy + hot wife" scenario is Family Guy. Even though its a cartoon with extremely random moments and characters (talking baby and dog), I still find it hard to suspend my disbelief and accept that someone like Louis would ever marry someone like Peter.

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  5. Interesting post. But there is no mention that in real life men and women (especially) are attracted to each other for reasons that reach beyond just looks, like money, intellect, security, charm, wit, etc.

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  6. Have you seen Kevin James's real life wife? Damn.

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  7. How do you explain Salman Rushdies Wife? Damn!

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